SELL BUY PROPERTY

SELLER: Donald De Line
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $3,675,000
SIZE: 4,894 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Movie producer Donald De Line has re-listed his East Coast-y farmhouse meets classic California ranch-style mini-compound in the Mandeville Canyon area of Los Angeles, CA with an asking price of $3,675,000.

Mister De Line, Your Mama well knows, may not be a household name outside the confines of Tinseltown but, as best as we can tell from our admittedly brief online research, within The Industry he's a smooth-pated and chic-ly bespectacled veteran player with an impressive list of credits. As a young studio executive Mister De Line oversaw the production of a number of notable movies such as Pretty Woman, What’s Love Got to Do With it, Sister Act, Ed Wood and Armageddon. Since branching out on his own in the late 1990s with an eponymous production company (De Line Pictures) he's produced a dozen or so reasonably high-profile hits and misses that include The Italian Job, The Stepford Wives, Body of Lies, I Love You, Man, Burlesque, and Green Lantern.

Property records reveal Mister De Line acquired the .41 acre Mandeville Canyon mini-compound in January 2006 for an undisclosed amount from Oscar-nominated screenwriter Steve Kloves (The Fabulous Baker Boys, The Amazing Spiderman, eight of the Harry Potter film adaptations).

Tall privet hedges and a thick screen of dense foliage encircle the property's perimeter and protect the 4,894 square foot single-story sprawler from the (possibly) prying eyes of passers by. Once through the front age that opens from the driveway and inside the soft but forbidding hedgerow, things get much friendlier with a rocking chair-worthy, wrap-around, covered porch and tomato red front door that opens to a traditional, center hall foyer.

The medium dark brown hardwood floors in the entry extend into the otherwise pale-paletted formal living room with fireplace and library niche with built in book-cases as well as into the more moodily done formal dining room with bay window and deep, aubergine-colored walls against which pop the also tomato red upholstered chairs around the circular dining table.

There are more hardwood floors and a sky light or two in the huge, almost-colossal, center-island country kitchen expensively outfitted and equipped with a combination of white and faux-distressed green raised panel cabinetry; glossy black granite and butcher block counter tops; commercial-style stainless steel and integrated appliances. There are more sky lights (and hardwood floors) in the adjoining family room/breakfast area as well as a second wood-burning fireplace.

The four family/guest bedrooms include a master suite with even more medium dark brown hardwood floors; a third, window-flanked fireplace; and French doors that open to the central courtyard at the rear of the residence. We can mostly tolerate the elegant yet aggressively impersonal, high-end-hotel-type day-core but we absolutely draw the damn line at the ur-feminine, gold- and rose-colored floral wall covering behind the bed that perplexes and, frankly, depresses Your Mama. Does a dignified but run-of-the-mill and slightly Anglophilic lady live here?

The U-shaped back of the house tightly hugs a planted courtyard that bursts opens up to a tree-shaded, (essentially) rectangular swimming pool and raised spa surrounded by red brick terraces furnished with a extensive, matching set of of thickly-padded, ass-friendly chairs, ottomans and chaise lounges.

Nestled into the trees on the far side of the swimming pool from the main house sits a two-story, stone- and clapboard-side pool/guest house with poolside office/lounge and a spacious guest suite on the second level with—you got it—more hardwood floors plus a quaint row of multi-paned sash windows, an airy, pitched and beamed ceiling, and a private bathroom.

Some of Mister De Line's nearest neighbors include Oscar-nominated actor Greg Kinnear, who bought his house in 2001 for $3,650,000 from hard rock music legend Meat Loaf, and Oscar-winner Reese Witherspoon, who bought her equestrian estate for $6,900,000 in August 2010 from freaky-deaky action-flick actor Steven Seagal. Just up the road a short piece is the tony, guard-gated enclave where some of the dozen or so mansions are owned by big-livin' folks like philandering ex-governator Arnold Schwarzenegger, soon to be divorced supermodel turned reality tee-vee mogul Heidi Klum and musician Seal, and professional pig skinner Tom Brady and his supermodel wife Gisele Bündchen who recently moved into their 22,000 square foot, custom-built—and, ahem, green-minded—mega-mansion.

As it turns out —and as mentioned by one of the children in the comments section—Mister De Line also currently owns a much more significant, high-walled and electronically gated residence in the historic Hancock Park 'hood. For some reason, Your Mama's previous spin through the property records failed to to reveal ownership but a second, more focused perusal does indeed reveal Mister De Line paid $4,600,000 in November 2008 for a 7,437 square foot mansard-roofed manse that backs up to the Wilshire Country Club.

When we first caught wind of the Hancock Park house we quickly queried our deliciously gabby pal Kenny Kissintell, who often knows a thing or two about a thing or two in Tinseltown, and he told us Mister De Line "actually lives in Hancock Park." Given that bit of intel, we don't know who occupies the Mandeville Canyon mini-compound but property records are quite clear: it's owned by a corporate entity that uses the same business address as Mister De Line's other and previous residences. 

Previous to moving to the West Side, Mister De Line lived just above the swanky Sunset Plaza area of the L.A.'s famed Sunset Strip in a high-hedged and gated 4,689 square foot traditional bought in February 1994 for $1,630,000, listed in November 2008 for $4,750,000 and sold in mid-February 2009 for $3,925,000.

listing photos: Teles Properties

SELLER: Brian Grazer
LOCATION: Malibu, CA
PRICE: $18,950,000
SIZE: 6,067 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Spikey-haired super-producer Brian Grazer (and his screenwriter ex-wife Gigi Levangie Grazer) have wanted to sell their formerly-shared Malibu (CA) beach house since at least April 2007 when it was on the open market for a short spell with an asking price of $16,000,000.

In May 2011, following their 2009 divorce, the Grazer's deluxe seaside mansion was back on the market with a much-jumped asking price of $19,500,000. By early March (2012) the price had plummeted to $17,500,000. The new price enticed, it seems, and by mid-March the property was in escrow, according Redfin.

Of course, Your Mama don't know a donut hole from a belt loop so we can't really speculate what happened with the escrow but it must have been canceled by someone because various online listing aggragators show the property was taken off the market at the end of August only to reappear, as first reported by the hardworking kids at Curbed, a couple days ago as active and available with a new and considerably higher asking price of $18,950,000.

Located behind the guarded gates of the much-coveted Colony enclave, the Grazer's big ol' mock-Med beach shack, tightly wedged into a pie-shaped lot that narrows on the beach end, spans a spacious 6,067 square feet in two wings with a total of 5 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms on three, elevator-accessible floors.

In addition to the beach-side, open plan living/dining room with window-lined, semi-circular piano niche on the main floor, the ocean front mansion also includes an eat-in kitchen; small media room; top-floor den/office with fireplace, half-pooper and ocean-side balcony; and an indoor, sky-lit swimming pool.

The back of the tall house opens to a deep, Mexican paver tile dining terrace and detached cabana that holds Mister Grazer's extensive collection of body torture devices, otherwise known as work-out equipment. A slightly raised sunbathing and lounging deck extends over the sand and surf that sometimes crashes right up on the bulkhead.

Mister Grazer may not be in the same, sizzling celebrity real estate league as, say, itchy-footed property collector Ellen Degeneres but he's hardly a stranger to all us loose-tongued property gossips. In March 2009, after an unsuccessful attempt to sell the plush property in 2007 for $27,500,000, Mister and ex-Missus Grazer finally unloaded their fairly-well self-contained, 9 bedroom and 14 bathroom compound in Pacific Palisades for $17,550,000 to current owners Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner.

More recently, in final days of 2011, now thrice-divorced Mister Grazer dropped $12,500,000 on a large but architecturally insipid residence that Your Mama previously described more nicely as a "sprawling, many-winged (and lobster-shaped) mansion in Santa Monica, CA."

listing photos: Everett Fenton Gidley for Westside Estate Agency

SELLER: Casey and Jean Kasem
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $42,000,000
SIZE: 12,000+/- square feet, 7 bedrooms, 17 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: While a few of the children lodged angry and articulate complaints about Your Mama's work ethic last night we received an unexpected ringy-dingy from a deliciously well-connected Platinum Triangle real estate insider with whom we're pleasantly acquainted—let's call her Paulina Propertypurveyor—who spilled the high-end real estate beans about Top 40 radio pioneer Casey Kasem and his crib-hawking former actress wife Jean quietly making their Los Angeles, CA estate available for purchase with a lip-smacking asking price of $42,000,000.

Although it seems rather quaint and even Old-Timey nowadays, once upon a time music lovers voluntarily and in droves tuned their radio dials each week to listen to Mister Kasem enthusiastically count down the forty most popular pop and pop-rock songs on American Top 40, his long-running, highly rated, terrifically lucrative, and nationally syndicated radio program that spawned a half dozen or more satellite radio programs such as Casey's Hot 20 and Casey's Countdown. Along with pioneering and then milking the Top 40 radio genre for all it's worth, Mister Kasem also did voice over work for scads and scores of commercials and cartoons. Maybe some of y'all may or may not already know that for forty years, until 2009, Mister Kasem—now 80 years old—provided the voice for half-witted hippie Shaggy in the Scooby-Doo franchise.

Statuesque Missus Kasem, bless her platinum pony-tailed heart, used to be a bit of a bit-part actress. Her Showbiz salad days were, without question, 1984 to 1993 when she portrayed the beautiful and sinfully curvaceous but woefully feeble-minded hausfrau Loretta Tortelli on Cheers and its blessedly short-lived spin off The Tortellis. Since she (essentially) retired from Tinseltown in the late 1990s—she did do a week on Hollywood Squares in 2003—Missus Kasem has secured a dozen or more trademarks and patents for her expanding line of pricey (and frequently ostentatious) baby cribs and other such baby-centric products. 'Tis true, butter beans. She's a bit of a high-end crib tycooness.

Anyhoo, Mister and Missus Kasem were married in 1980 and property records show they acquired their huge house just north of Sunset Boulevard in the fulsomely affluent Holmby Hills area of Los Angeles almost a decade later, in July 1989. They paid—brace yourselves—just $1,725,000 for the 2.39-acre estate, which they bought from attorney/real estate developer Abraham M. Lurie. A few quick calculations on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows that's almost 25 times less than its current $42,00,000 price tag.

The Los Angeles County Tax Man shows the single-story, multi-winged mansion was originally built in 1954 and measures 7,609 square feet with seven bedrooms and nine bathrooms. Marketing materials generously (and surreptitiously) provided by our pal Paulina Propertypurveyor shows the "freshly rehabbed" house encompasses a significantly more substantial 12,000 square feet (plus or minus) with 7 bedrooms and an astounding 17 bathrooms. Have mercy! Seventeen bathing and evacuating facilities in one home means Mister and Missus Casem probably need at least two, part-time minimum wage workers whose only domestic concerns are scrubbing showers and polishing crappers.

The high-hedged and no-doubt heavily fortified estate has a long, gated driveway that cuts across a vast swathe of unnaturally green grass; a circular motor court at the front of the house that can, as per marketing materials we perused, "comfortably fit 15+ vehicles" (plus a few more in a rear motor court and three car attached garage); several large stone terraces for large-scale entertaining and elegant outdoor lounging; a parterre garden tucked back behind the garage; a sunken, north/south oriented tennis court with subterranean cabana; and a campy, heart-shaped swimming pool backed by a trio of even more campy gazebos.

The neighboring mansions and estates, must hidden behind gates and high hedges like Mister and Missus Kasem's, are owned by rich and famous folks who include actress turned entrepreneurs Connie Stevens and Jaclyn Smith, fashion tycoon Max Azria, couture collecting society maven Betsey Bloomingdale, sitcom star Kelsey Grammer and/or his reality tee-vee star ex-wife Camille Grammer—we're not sure which of them was granted ownership of this house in their bitter bitter bitter divorce last year, and Richard and Lauren King who had their own Holmby Hills estate next door to the Kasem crib listed last year for $65,000,000.

A quick spin through public property records available on the interweb indicates Mister and Missus Kasem maintain a somewhat slender real estate portfolio. Besides their sprawling spread in Holmby Hills the Kasems also own a quartet of vacant desert parcels that total 6.56 acres near the unlikely (and difficult-to-love) Lancaster, CA, as well as a petite, ocean-view one bedroom and 1.5 bathroom condo at Malibu's Holiday House that—as it turns out—is currently available for lease at $12,000 per month. A person wouldn't know it looking at the ticky-tacky balcony railing or the antique-looking carved stone mantelpiece shown in listing photos (above) but the Holiday House was originally built in 1956 and designed by cutting edge architect Richard Neutra. (It once looked like this, now it looks like this.)

listing photos (Holmby Hills): Fortune Homes / Keller Williams Realty
listing photos (Malibu): Pritchett-Rapf Realtors

Listen chickens, we hate to leave y'all high and dry today but pickins are mite slim in the celebrity real estate world right now and Your Mama has some unavoidable tasks and issues that must be dealt with this week. So, rather than abandon y'all completely, we offer up a few links to other celebrity real estate related stories around the interweb:

—Super-stylish entrepreneurial real estate heiress Ivanka Trump and her young media baron hubby Jared Kushner recently had the folks from Elle Decor in for a peep and poke around at their freshly decorated 10-room New York City family pad located, natch, in a Park Avenue Manhattan high-rise built by her frequently bloviating big-daddy Donald Trump.

—It's old news, perhaps, but hokey-jokey actor Vince Vaughn hoisted his triplex penthouse in Chicago on the market with an asking price of $18,400,000. Did you know he's also house hunting in Los Angeles in the ten million dollar plus range? Well, he is, at least according to Your Mama's people.

—Mariah Carey's looks like a swank boo-teek on Saint Barths, professional dribbler C.C. Sabathia's has custom-built Macassar-ebony cabinets for his colossal shoe collection, and super-rich adman turned tee-vee house Donny Deutch's has a built in bench upholstered in pony skin custom-dyed blood red.

—In case you somehow didn't already hear, Showbiz tycoon Ryan Seacrest has finally unloaded his Hollywood Hills estate for $11,000,000 to "some rich English folk." Mister Seacrest famously upgraded his residential circumstances with his recent $37,500,000 purchase of chat show queen Ellen Degeneres' epic Beverly Hills compound.

—The physically strapping and frequently whining Winklevoss twins Tyler and Cameron—they're the formerly East Coast-based dudes who claim(ed) former Harvard classmate Mark Zuckerberg stole their idea for the social media platform that became Facebook—shelled out $18,000,000 on a newly completed, high-tech and very contemporary 8,000 square foot crib high above L.A.'s Sunset Strip.

—And some good, old-fashioned New York City floor plan porn in the form of a mixed-use, multi-unit building in TriBeCa. Note the hair-raising $49,500,000 asking price, the 11,000-ish square foot triplex penthouse (plus fully-landscaped roof terrace), and the basement level basketball court with mezzanine loft level fitness area. As best as we can tell from property records and business filings, the building's owner is a a wealthy fella named Mark Sonnino, a hedge fund fat cat for whom, as it turns out, Your Mama's much younger cuzzin Ry-Ry once worked.

...tatted-up Maroon 5 lead singer and reality singing show mentor Adam Levine (The Voice) has not only been on the hunt for a new Los Angeles, CA house to call home but has very quietly made his current crib in the Los Feliz area available—at least to those who know which real estate agent to ringy-dingy—with an asking price, according to our freakishly well-connected snitch Betty Butterlips, in the high three millions.

Mister Levine picked up his fairly recently re-hashed and completely re-worked 1940s ranch house, perched proudly on a city-view hillside above Bronson Canyon near the tail end of a dead end private street, back in November 2005 for $3,195,000.

In early 2009 Mister Levine put his low-slung and lasciviously-decorated digs up for lease for $10,000 per month and sometime after that he engaged the (no doubt seriously expensive) services of friend and swanky vintage clothing boutique owner Mark Haddawy who reduced the number of bedrooms from four to one; filled the interiors with rosewood, marble and name-brand contemporary art; installed an all-stainless steel kitchen; boldly stuck a baby grand piano in the enlarged, cowhide-carpeted master bedroom; and, for reasons beyond our comprehension, replaced the sensational, quintessentially Old Hollywood oval-shaped swimming pool with a much more mundane rectangular one.

The extensive alterations and high-glam mid-century minded day-core was subsequently photographed for the glossy pages of Architectural Digest's March 2012 issue.

According to Betty Butterlips, Mister Levine might prefer to stay in his current 'hood but is understood to want something more substantial that better reflects his continued music, showbiz, and financial success. One neighborhood tattletale told Your Mama word on the Los Feliz gossip grapevine was Mister Levine had a look-see at (but passed on) the 8,184 square foot Spanish Colonial Revival-style mansion sit-com actor David Hyde Pierce and man-partner Brian Hargrove recently sold in late July (2012) for $7,050,000 to a couple of obviously very well-compensated L.A.-based attorneys.

All just celebrity real estate rumor and gossip, children, rumor and gossip.

OWNER: Jennifer Love Hewitt
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $12,500 per month
SIZE: 3,216 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Almost two weeks ago now it was revealed by the long-legged blond at Trulia Luxe Living that Texas-born former child star turned—ahem—actress Jennifer Love Hewitt put one of two multi-million dollar domiciles she owns in L.A.'s star-studded Toluca Lake community on the market with an asking price of $2,895,000.

According to property records the six bedroom and six bathroom traditional was purchased by Miss Love Hewitt in May 1998 for $1,695,000 and, according to our pal and occasional informant Babbling Babette, occupied the last number of years by Miss Love Hewitt's recently deceased mother Pat, may she rest in peace.

A Tinseltown toiler since the late 1980s, Miss Love Hewitt first popped up on the boob-toob on Kids Incorporated with future Party of Five co-star Scott Wolf. The early 1990s brought a slew of roles on a whole bunch of not particularly successful tee-vee programs and movies like Shaky Ground, Little Miss Millions and The Byrds of Paradise. Her big Showbiz break came in 1995 when she was cast on the once wildly popular but cancelled in 1999 orphan-family boob-toob drama Party of Five and appeared on the big screen in the I Know What Your Did Last Summer horror film franchise.

The early Aughts brought a working dry spell during which Miss Love Hewitt worked frequently but didn't appear, as far as we could tell from a quick perusal of her resume on the Internet Movie Data Base, in anything notable, interesting or remotely successful. In 2005, bless her emoting heart, she landed the lead on Ghost Whisperer, a lucrative role that lasted five seasons and reportedly paid the prolific dater but as yet unluckly in love Miss Love Hewitt as much as $150,000 per episode. Ghost Whisperer went belly up in 2010 but, lucky for Miss Love Hewitt, she quickly secured the starring role in the somewhat controversial and pretty well panned The Client List, a Lifetime channel tee-vee movie turned series about a busty, financially desperate former Texas beauty queen turned single mother of three who secretly becomes a well-compensated sex worker in a high-end massage parlor that specializes in happy endings.

Despite the topsy-turvy, roller coaster nature of her career in January 2006 the gossip glossy regular possessed the dough-re-mi to drop $5,500,000 on a second luxury residence in Toluca Lake almost directly across the street from the recently listed one and, as it turns out, put up as a furnished lease two weeks ago at $12,500 per month.

Current listing information reveals the walled and gated three-story Spanish-style casa was originally built in 1926, weighs in at a spacious but hardly huge 3,216 square feet and includes a total of four bedrooms, four bathrooms and two full kitchens, one on the main level with large center island, butcher block counter tops and commercial-style appliances and another, woefully dated one on the lower level where its convenient to the swimming pool and backyard entertainment areas.

In addition to the two kitchens and formal living and dining rooms, listing information states the (arguably) "tastefully decorated" residence also includes a home office with separate entrance, music room, workout room, and a master suite with deep and inviting, lake-view window seat; double master bath (whatever that is); an extensive, custom-fitted closet and dressing room area; and an boat load of white, (possibly) faux-distressed, and decidedly Shabby Sheek-ish furniture.

The lower two levels of the house open wide to a to a brick courtyard with (ugly) fountain at the front and multiple brick and tile terraces at the back. The lowest level includes an indoor/outdoor poolside lounge/loggia that spills out to the plunge-sized swimming pool and spa. A wide brick stair descend to a private dock. As an enticement, listing information states Miss Love Hewitt has generously included the use of her kayaks and motor boat in the price of her rental.

Because of its close proximity to number of major studios and lots, Toluca Lake has long been a favorite enclave of Hollywood's rich and famous. Bob Hope lived in Tolcua Lake, so did Bing Crosby, Amelia Earhart, Gene Autry, Jim Nabors, and Jonathan Winters. Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli lived in a Toluca Lake mansion until they split up last year—they still own the house but we're not sure who occupies it—and former Disney cash cow Miley Cyrus lived in Toluca Lake with her family until she moved to her own multi-million dollar abode in nearby Studio City last year. The Jonas Brothers used to lease a house in Toluca Lake and semi-retired singer/actress Hilary Duff finally sold her 8,827 square foot Toluca Lake manse last month for $4,651,500, far less than the seven million she originally wanted. Current residents of the lakeside enclave include Steve Carell, Swoosie Kurtz, Eric McCormack, Ashley Tisdale, and Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry.

listing photos: Gibson International

On the heels of famous and famously troubled but essentially homeless "actress" Lindsay Lohan (allegedly) skipping out on a $46,000+ bill at and being banned from* the boho-swank Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles, CA where she shacked up for a good portion of the summer, word comes down the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine that the always-in-some-kinda-legal and/or Showbiz tangle starlet may make a move to Manhattan.

The Confidential canaries at the Daily News reported this morning that the hard-charging bar-hopper is expected to bunk in the TriBeCa apartment of "her assistant/sometimes best friend Gavin Doyle."

Hmm. Doesn't sound like a very permanent solution for the perpetually peripatetic tabloid seller but then again, when has itchy-footed and often-scrambling Miss Lohan ever really stayed put anywhere for more than a few months?

Good luck Big Apple.

*A press release issued by the hotel's general manager says the ban will be lifted and Miss Lohan will be happily received back at the Chateau Marmont at such time she pays her outstanding bill.

Several weeks ago Your Mama regaled the children—or punished the wee lambs, depending on your point of view—with photographs and floor plans of a octagonal triplex penthouse atop the City Spire building in Midtown Manhattan. The uncommonly configured penthouse, according to property records, is owned by real estate developer Steven A. Klar who hoisted it on the open market in late July (2012) with a splish-splashy $100,000,000 price tag guaranteed to generate a mountain of international publicity.

The original online listing for the approximately 8,000 square foot aerie proudly proclaimed the opulent—but, in our mind, ludicrously mundane—interiors had been worked over by internationally renown, Chilean-born interior decorator-designer Juan Pablo Molyneux. Well, dontcha know children, Mister Molyneux was not pleased with that rather grandiose assertion.

Uh-oh.

After receiving a number of not-particularly-positive phone calls "'from all over the world,'" the designer-decorator jumped on his princess phone and called The Old Grey Lady herself—that would be The New York Times—to clarify matters and express a sharp dismay about the existing day-core. He is not, he would like the world to know, responsible for the installation and execution of the finishes and furnishings. He went on to hiss, "'I never thought that this horror would be published and then everybody would blame me for having done it.'"

Oh dear.

Mister Sklar conceded to The New York Times that Mister Molyneux did only design the original plans for the penthouse 18 years ago and that he opted to execute the designs himself without additional assistance or guidance from Mister Molyneux. Mister Sklar showed The New York Times Mister Molyneux's original plans and pointed out that he "hewed almost religiously to the decorator’s plans, down to the style of curtains, use of marble and columns — even, in one case, the exact placement of a painting in his office."

Cat fight! 

As of today, online marketing materials still state the six bedroom and nine bathroom, multi-terraced penthouse was, "Designed by the renowned Juan Pablo Molyneux, a member of Architectural Digest's AD100." More photos and floor plans here.

Mister Molyneux's own, elaborately-done Manhattan townhouse also happens to be available on the open market with a protuberant $48,000,000 asking price and the few listing photographs included with online listings show a more nuanced, richly-textured, and typically Molyneux-ian sort of day-core. 

listing photos: Stribling 

Actor Matt Damon and wife Luciana Barroso have been on a long and as-yet unsuccessful search for a new, super-sized pad in Manhattan for years* but, as the folks at Zillow revealed, they didn't seem to take much time on the west coast where they've dropped a whopping $15,000,000 on a three-story, 8,890 square foot** Zen-contemporary in the upscale Pacific Palisades community.

Previous reports and listing information we managed to dig up out of the depths of the internets show the hulking, KAA Design Group-designed domicile—a blend of California Modernism and traditional Spanish Colonial, according to the architect's website—was built in 2004 and sits on a flat, .68 acre corner lot in the quite-ritzy but none-the-less low-key Riviera section of Pacific Palisades. As it turns out—and maybe not coincidentally—Mister Damon's new digs happen to be on the same street as the plush, gated estate his b.f.f. Ben Affleck shares with wife Jennifer Garner.

The boxy mansion's series of interlocking glass, stone and wood pavilions orbit around a voluminous, cruise ship-like atrium with 35-foot mahogany ceiling and include 7 bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, formal living and dining rooms, an office, eat-in kitchen and family room, media room, five-car garage, and what listing information called a "serious" home gym.

Wide and soaring banks of glass open up to various courtyards, garden, patios, and sleeping porches. The fully landscaped grounds include flat lawns and gardens connected by wood walkways, numerous water features—including, as per the architect's website, "a koi pond that functions as a fence," and a swimming pool and spa with adjacent pool house pavilion.

For the last couple of years Mister and Missus Damon (and their four children) have hunkered down in New York City but have long maintained a sprawling, two-parcel waterfront compound in Miami Beach, FL. The first portion of the property was purchased in April 2005 for $10,300,000 and includes a 9 bedroom and 10 bathroom mansion (plus a waterside guest house and additional living space above the garages), and the second parcel (with roof-terraced, bay-side pool house) was picked up a few months later, in December, for $4,200,000. Not too long ago Your Mama heard an entirely unsubstantiated rumor that Mister and Misssus Damon might like to sell their Miami Beach spread but, sorry Charlies, we can't offer up any additional details at this point .

*As far as Your Mama knows—and we really know so very little—Mister Damon still owns an East Village loft-apartment with a private basketball court in the basement.

**Some resources we consulted show the house may actually be as large as 13,508 square feet. 

listing photos: Coldwell Banker (via Curbed)

In case any of y'all didn't already know, veteran country music kingpin Alan Jackson is—as Your Mama likes to say—a serious Real Estate Baller with a rotating property portfolio stuffed to the gills with a hefty handful of high-cost and high-maintenance residences in both Tennessee and coastal Florida.

Two years ago the award-winning country crooner sold Sweetbriar—an epic, 135-acre estate outside Nashville, TN—for around $28,000,000 and the property gossip gals at The Wall Street Journal announced a couple weeks ago he and the missus have now heaved their eye-popping, private peninsula occupying compound on Center Hill Lake near Smithville, TN on the market with a $4,995,000 price tag.

In addition to the 6,100 square foot, five bedroom, multi-story mansion ringed by numerous verandas and terraces and perched on a thickly-treed bluff above the water's edge, the approximately 3.5 acre estate comes complete with a separate four bedroom guest house and a one bedroom cottage perfect for a live-in caretaker.

A detached garage for six or more cars has helipad on the roof and a private dock directly with an elaborate, two-story house bought equipped with indoor and out door lounging areas, couple of water-slides and a raised hot tub on the upper level deck.

Mister and his long-time missus Denise reportedly custom-built the deluxe compound 20 years or so ago and opted to list the vacation property because, according a statement provided to the WSJ, they and their three daughters don't use it as a family much anymore and are "re-evaluating their plans for the future after she [Missus Jackson] beat cancer last year."

Last year Mister and Missus Jackson flipped a Franklin, TN mansion they purchased in June 2010 for $3,675,000 back on the market with a $3,995,000 price tag. The stately, gated estate with its 14,040 square foot mansion and its eight bedrooms and ten terlits in eight full and two half bathroom remains on the open market with a slenderized asking price of $3,750,000. Your Mama, who don't know a hat from a pick-up truck, heard through the grapevine—which means we read it somewhere but don't recall where—the luxury loving country music royals bought the opulent mansion to live in temporarily while they finished construction on a significantly larger mansion nearby.

In September 2010, the big-livin' Jacksons sold a river-front getaway outside Nashville (TN) to fellow country music royal Kenny Chesney for $1,425,000 and in 2009 they acquired a 4.29 acre spread in Franklin (TN) on which now stands the a brand spanking new, custom-built and decidedly baronial 22,136 square foot mansion the Jacksons now, presumably, call home. Just because they're thinning their bulging property portfolio, butter beans, does not mean these country music Jacksons are the least bit interested in downsizing or economizing.

In May of this year (2012) Mister and Missus Jackson took a nearly three-quarter million pounding to their financial pocketbooks when they finally sold a 2,214 square foot Key West-style cottage directly on the Intracoastal Waterway in Tequesta, FL for $725,000. Listing information and property records we squeezed out of the interweb shows the four bedroom and three bathroom property was acquired in June 2004 for $1,270,000, first listed in November 2009 for $1,500,000, and includes a private dock capable of parking two 70-plus foot yachts.

Property records (and The Bizzy Boys at Celebrity Address Aerial) also indicate Mister and Missus Jackson still maintain a second, more substantial 1.1-acre ocean front estate in Jupiter purchased in October 2002 for about $3,500,000. The Martin County Tax Man shows the two-story Mediterranean mansion, built in 2007, measures 8,724 square feet and includes seven bedrooms and 6.5 bathrooms. A private dock on the other side of the road extends deep into the Intracoastal Waterway where Mister and Missus Jackson park their armada of pleasure craft.

See, now? We told y'all he was a Real Estate Baller.

listing photos: French Christianson Patterson and Associates and Christie's International Real Estate

As first revealed by the ever-industrious folks at Realtor.com, sitcom star Matt LeBlanc—first famous as do-do bird beau-hunk Joey Tribbiani on Friends, then as do-do bird beau-hunk Joey Tribbiani on the blessedly short-lived Joey and now appearing as a version of himself on the very possibly under-appreciated Episodes—has put a plush and expensively restored and updated Spanish-style abode he owns in Pacific Palisades, CA up for lease—for just six to eight months, according to current listing information—with a monthly rent of $12,995.

Let's just call it $13,000, shall we?

Mister LeBlanc purchased the swimming pool-free property in January 2007 for $7,400,000 and current listing information shows the well-maintained, two-story casa sits on a half-plus landscaped acre; was built in 1933; spans a fairly-modest by celeb standards 3,930 square feet; and is finished with beamed ceilings, wood floors, and original fixtures, iron work and tiles.

Three family/guest bedrooms share 3.5 bathrooms and an additional staff room includes an additional, private lavatory. A few of the primary living and entertaining spaces include a step-down living room (with non-working fireplace); paneled dining room and paneled library (also with non-working fireplace); and contemporary, sky-lit center-island kitchen with compact, adjoining family room outfitted with built-in cabinetry, wet bar and non-working fireplace.*

Leasing out his canyon-view crib in Pacific Palisades hardly leaves Mister LeBlanc homeless. Our entirely unscientific research reveals handsomely goofy actor owns property in Los Alamos, CA as well as a pair of adjacent houses in Encino, CA. One of the Encino residences, a 1,966 square foot ranch-style house, has two bedrooms and three bathrooms according to the L.A. County Tax Man and the other, a far more substantial and recently-renovated contemporary mansion, includes a swimming pool and "sunken" tennis court partially cantilevered over the long, gated driveway that curls up to the front of the main mansion and continues around to the front of the smaller ranch house.

*Current listing information states, "Fireplaces not in working condition."

listing photos: Prudential California Realty

Did Justin Beiber's former Disney star girlfriend Selena Gomez buy comedic actor/producer/screenwriter Jonah Hill's house in Tarzana, CA?

Maybe. Could be.

Property records Your Mama peeked at don't yet reflect a transfer of ownership of the five bedroom, 5.5 bathroom, single-story quasi-Cape Cod/California ranch-style residence young Mister Hill picked up only last September (2011) for $2,175,000 but multiple online reports say he's done flipped his rather matronly-looking house in Tarzana to even younger Miss Gomez.

The .85-acre property was not, as far as we can tell, made available on the open market but at least one report says 20-year old Miss Gomez—who currently lives in an apartment on her parent's substantial Encino estate—paid $2,900,000 for the 4,650 square foot, quintessentially-suburban gated estate that includes a swimming pool, spa, landscaped grounds and a tennis court.

By Your Mama's busy-body, rudimentary calculations, Miss Gomez's new digs are 9.8 miles from her boyfriend's even larger and even more quintessentially-suburban estate in a double-gated private community in Calabasas.

listing photos: Prudential California Realty

Ever since pasty-pallored Twilight heart throb Rob Pattinson's often-sour-pussed Twilight cast mate and long-time girlfriend Kristen Stewart was caught smoochin' and coochin' with British-born and very-married neophyte movie director Rupert Sanders (Snow White and the Huntsman), the Pattin-Stew corner of the interweb has been a scalding conflagration of scandal, intrigue, outrage and harsh judgement by fans and foes alike.

Life can get so complicated sometimes, can't it? While we can't condone anyone stepping out on their love-mates and life-partners—unless it's an agreed upon thing, of course—these matters are personal so Your Mama's gonna—for the most part, anyways—leave the cheating lectures and monogamy moralizing to the children and focus, natch, on the (quasi-) related real estate matters at hand.

The celeb-watchers at US Weekly reported yesterday that Mister Pattinson had done booted his  unfaithful but reportedly deeply regretful ex-girlfriend from the swank Los Angeles, CA paradise he bought, they shared, and he now (allegedly) wants to sell because—as per an unidentified "insider"—it holds "too many memories."

We weren't surprised at these rumors or read the reports. Your Mama had thrice heard this scuttlebutt from no fewer than four separate sources more than a week ago. It will undoubtedly appear to many that Your Mama dropped the damn ball on this particular celebrity real estate scoop. And maybe we did. But, alas—and in all honesty—we were unable to come up with a proper confirmation or any significant details—i.e. an asking price—from any of our most trusted and reliable celebrity real estate moles. No shade intended on all my much-adored Chatty Cathies; That's just the way the ol' celebrity real estate llama spits sometimes, you know?

Anyhoodles poodles, our research shows Mister Pattinson—through a blind trust—picked up the 1.52-acre hillside spread (above) in a particularly posh pocket of L.A.'s star-packed Los Feliz neighborhood in September 2011 for $6,275,000. Not bad for a rather unkempt-looking fella in his mid-20s, is it now?

The walled, gated and no-doubt heavily fortified property was not listed on the open market but various online resources indicate the dignified, Spanish-style residence was built in 1921 for a wealthy insurance executive by architect Stiles O. Clements, measures 4,026 square feet and contains just 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms.

The extensive gardens and grounds include a curvaceous gated stone driveway; a second-gated motor court and garage; party-sized terraces off the rear of the main floor; and a painstakingly-planted, completely-landscaped and multi-terraced backyard that climbs the moderately steep hillside behind the house.

Near the top of the backyard oasis, well above the house, there's an honest-to-goodness amphitheater for a scheduled and impromptu performances and even higher up than that a dark-bottomed swimming pool and spa are set into an amorphous stone terrace, a location that not only takes in the city views but unfortunately assures—unless there's a facility up there we don't know about—lazy and/or full-bladdered sunbathers and swimmers will pee (or worse) in a flower bed behind a tree rather than embark on the long, thigh-busting journey down to the house and then undertake the ass-punishing climb back up to the pool. We suggest a high-speed funicular be installed if one hasn't already been.

The seller was movie director Robert Luketic (Legally Blonde, Monster-in-Law, 21) who bought the property from Oscar-winning cinematographer Robert Richardson (JFK, The Aviator, Inglourious Basterds, Kill Bill: Vol. 1 and II). Previous to that the house had been owned by boob-toob actor Noah Wylie (ER) and before that it belonged to English actor Tim Curry (The Rocky Horror Picture Show).

When K-Stew's cheating cat was let out of the bag, R-Pat, now out and about promoting the wildly-successful Cosmopolis, fled to friend Reese Witherspoon's semi-secluded ranch-compound in Ojai, CA. Miss Stewart, so the stories go, alternated between her parents long-time home in Woodland Hills and the Burbank bedsit of bestie actress Scout Taylor Compton. At one point Your Mama heard (but could and can not substantiate) she might also be squirreled away with a pal in Venice and two days ago we heard from another canary we'll call Divine Flowers who chirped to Your Mama that Miss Stewart might also be hiding out now and then in Malibu. Malibu?!? Miss Flowers, dontcha know, told Your Mama Miss Stewart "actually has a property" in Malibu then she thoughtfully and generously provided us with a location and street name.

This was the first we'd ever heard of this Malibu beach house bizness so we took to the interweb and in less than two minutes turned up indisputable evidence (in public records) that in September 2011 a quite contemporary house on the very street named by Miss Flowers was purchased for $4,800,000. However, it's important to note that all the several property records databases we perused show the almost ocean-front residence is actually owned by Miss Stewart's momma, Jules Mann Stewart.

Momma Stewart, a script supervisor originally from Australia, has been in Showbiz since at least the late 1980s with recent tee-vee and movie credits that include Scooby Doo! The Mystery Begins, The Sarah Silverman Program, and My Wife Is Retarded. Shaggy-maned Poppa John Stewart toils primarily as a Tinseltown stage manager for programs like Fear Factor, Man vs. Beast, Weakest Link and Family Feud.

A little internet elbow grease turned up a number of still available online listings for the "radically modern glass and steel" beach house that all show it measures 5,800 square feet while the L.A. County Tax Man shows it's 3,944 square feet. Make of that what you will. Listing information also shows the tree- and shrub-enshrouded mini-compound—lightly perched on a thick, poured concrete base and tucked into a discreet, low-key enclave—is wedged on to a tight .12 acre up-sloping lot, was built in 1993, and includes a total of five bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms divided between the three story main house and the detached and unpredictably oval-shaped guest house.

Listing information states the house has been published a handful of times and listing photographs show the main living space finished in a Post-Modern(esque) sort of contemporary style with pale hardwood floors; a (probably gas) fireplace; long walls of both opaque and clear class; and a slender balcony with over the roof top Pacific Ocean view. The streamlined, galley-style kitchen has blond, burled wood cabinets; grey stone-tiled flooring; some sort of stone or solid-surface counter top; and sleek, stainless steel appliances.

A top floor family room/den, wrapped on three sides by frosted and clear glass, spills out to a root top terrace with panoramic (if not entirely unobstructed) views of the ocean and coastline. A terraced backyard with above-ground spa provides additional and protected outdoor space away from the wind and sea spray.

Now children, use yer noggins now. Firstly, keep in mind the listing photos show the house as it appeared at the time of the sale. the day-core is not that of Missus (or Miss) Stewart but rather, of course, that of the seller. Secondly, this house in Malibu is technically owned by Kristen Stewart's momma Jules Mann Stewart and not, as per property records, by Miss Stewart herself. However, despite her relative success in The Industry and despite our complete and total ignorance of her personal finances and/or net worth, we still think it seems like a bit of a stretch to imagine Momma Stewart has the wherewithal to purchase and maintain a nearly five million dollar beach house.

We confess we don't really know a thing about who actually provided the money to buy the Malibu beach house but we do know, based on a reasonably thorough peek and a poke around public property records, that K-Stew's momma has a straight up eclectic real estate palette. In addition to the (fairly) newly acquired, multi-million dollar Malibu beach house and the family's long-time, six bedroom and five bathroom residence in hot as Hades Woodland Hills, CA—bought in November 1998 for $620,000—Momma Stewart also owns a hodge-podge of residential and commercial properties that include (but may not be limited to):

—A nondescript commercial building in decidedly downmarket downtown Maricopa, CA, bought November 2004 for $59,000

—An undetermined amount of undeveloped land on a two lane state highway just outside of Gainesville, FL near the unlikely community of Williston


—A single-story, triplex apartment building in a leafy but lackluster corner of Pasadena, CA, bought in July 2008 for $628,000

—A couple of adjacent properties with a couple of itty-bitty cottages tucked into a ho-hum section of Topanga, CA and bought in April 2010 for $700,000


—a 1,665 square foot office building in Van Nuys, CA bought in July 2010 for $1,100,000

Although we did find young Miss Stewart's name briefly attached to triplex property a few years ago in Pasadena, it's not clear or obvious—at least to Your Mama—if the broken-hearted Twilight superstar does (or does not) have actual ownership of or a partial stake in any of the above-listed properties.

aerial photo (Los Angeles): Pacific Coast News
listing photos (Malibu): Pritchitt-Rapf & Associates (via Redfin)