SELL BUY PROPERTY

You Mama was having a digital yakkety-yak the other day with a trusted, valued and well-connected source and we got to trippin' about the handful of recent sales in Malibu that topped $30,000,000.Of course, thirty million clams for a single private residence.

As was first revealed by the long-legged blond gal at Trulia Luxe Living, preggers reality t.v. star and tabloid catnip Kim Kardashian has quietly sold her five bedroom and 4.5 bathroom faux-Tuscan micro-mansion (above) in the Beverly Hills Post Office.

...some strange and fantastical rumors sometimes from our myriad of informants and this one here is most certainly of the pearl clutching and knee jellying—if totally unconfirmed—varieties of humdingers if we ever heard one. Ready? Buckle your real estate.

BUYER: Bruce WillisSELLER: Adam ClaytonLOCATION: New York City, NYPRICE: $8,695,000SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 4 bathroomsYOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama must be feeling in a New York state of mind because lately we've been drawn to any sort of Big Apple celebrity.

BUYER: UnknownLOCATION: Malibu, CAPRICE: $6,575,000SIZE: 7,000 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 5.5 bathroomsUPDATE (02-15-13): Your Mama heard word from a representative of Dave Matthews who would kindly like to make it clear that Mister Matthews did not buy.

SELLER: Senator Marco Rubio and Jeanette Dousdebes RubioLOCATION: West Miami, FLPRICE: $675,000SIZE: 2,699 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathroomsYOUR MAMAS NOTES: We don't know if any of the more tabloid oriented and/or reality t.v. watching children.

SELLER: CherLOCATION: West Hollywood, CAPRICE: $5,500,000SIZE: 4,000 (or so) square feet,YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama heard it the other day from two separate but impeccable sources but the ever-intrepid celebrity gossips at TMZ got to it before.

SELLER: Estate of Betty EvansLOCATION: NewYork City, NYPRICE: $25,500,000SIZE: 7,000 (or so) square feet, 3-5 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms (plus a three bedroom and two-ish bathroom staff wing)YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama has loads of celebrity real estate.

...that tent pole movie star Tom Cruise has signed contracts to sell his long-time New York City pied-a-terre for three million clams.According the well-connected folks at The Real Deal, Mister Cruise's Big Apple crib spans 2,200 square feet.

SELLER: Joe WrightLOCATION: London (Spitalfields), U.K.PRICE: £2,645,000SIZE: 3,123 square feet, 2 bedrooms (plus two studio spaces), 2 full and 2 half bathroomsYOUR MAMAS NOTES: Thanks to one of Your Mama's savvy property snitches on the ground in London—we.

Now listen up, children. Your Mama well knows that some of y'all have a tendency to launch into a potty mouthed conniption or an indignant hissy fit like a six year old when we discuss the high-stakes real estate activities of English Formula One Racing.