SELL BUY PROPERTY

Listen, chickens, Your Mama is just about to board a steel bird and wing our way to the 49th State of Alaska for a 4th of July visit with our wonderfully neurotic old friend Sheila Sinn. That means we don't have the time to go on and on (and on) like we usually do but, rather than leave y'all high and dry, we thought we'd send y'all on over to have a look see at some of the other celebrity real estate doings that have gone down this week.

A year ago, Rosie O'Donnell spent $8,095,087.50 to buy a duplex penthouse pièd-a-terre in downtown Manhattan. It was the eagle-eyed kids at Curbed who revealed that the ol' chat show hostess caught a classic case of The Celebrity Real Estate Fickle and flipped the four bedroom and three bathroom apartment back on the market this week with a much higher $10,950,000 price tag.

Miz O'Donnell must be in the mood to shake up her property portfolio because Your Mama heard word last month that she'd done sold her estate on Miami Beach's star studded Star Island to an unknown buyer for not quite $13 million but property records now reveal she actually sold it for $16,500,000 to New York City-based real estate investors David and Linda Frankel. (floor plan: Douglas Elliman Real Estate)

Also stricken with an especially acute case of The Celebrity Real Estate Fickle, as per the peeps at Zillow, is disgraced Tour de France cyclist Lance Armstrong. First he sold his water guzzling central Austin (TX) estate and shelled out $4.34 million for a contemporary compound perched on a bluff that over looks Lake Austin (shown above). However, bunnies, the capricious pedal pumper quickly and quietly re-sold the lake view house for an unknown amount to professional race car driver Bret Curtis and snatched up a 7,646 square foot house in Austin from Texas politico Ben Barnes. (listing photo: via Zillow)

We're not sure who first revealed it but Your Mama first saw it on Trulia Luxe Living that ice hockey legend Wayne Gretzky listed his mock-Med mansion in a 12-residence gated enclave in prosperous Scottsdale, AZ, with an asking price of $3,395,000. (listing photo: Platinum Realty Network)

As per the New York Observer, after putting it out for lease in July 2011 at a rate of $16,000 per month—it rented in October 2011 for an unknown amount for an unknown length of time—Los Angeles-based actor Hank Azaria has off loaded his lofty apartment in the heart of New York City's SoHo 'hood in an off-market deal to a mysterious buyer for $8,000,000. Mister Azaria acquired the three bedroom and three bathroom loft in 2005 for $4.6 million from big-shit artist Cindy Sherman. The children will take special note of the 50-foot long entrance loggia and the unusually spacious private professional grade gym. (floor plan: Stribling)

Soon to be divorced movie producer Bob Weinstein has not so quietly heaved his 3.28 waterfront estate in Greenwich, CT on the open market with a $32,000,000 asking price, as was first revealed by those crazy kids at Curbed yesterday. Listing details show the 12,788 square foot mansion was built in 1916 and currently has six bedrooms, six full and two half bathrooms, 9 fireplaces, and 440 feet of prime Long Island Sound shore line with a sandy beach and stone pier for deep water mooring. (listing photo: Coldwell Banker)

The Miami Condo Investments blog spilled the beans about design-oriented hip-hopper Pharrell Williams having hacked a blood curdling $5.9 million dollars off the price of his airy, multi-level penthouse aerie atop the Bristol Tower complex in Miami Beach, FL. Your Mama (dissed and) discussed the  9,080 square foot 5 bedroom and 6.5 bathroom penthouse back in November 2012 when it first popped up on the open market with an in-hindsight wickedly optimistic $16.8 million price tag. (listing photo: Coldwell Banker)

The Zillow folks figured out that Courteney Cox's Cougartown cast mate (and alleged new squeeze) Brian Van Holt unloaded his 1 bedroom and 1.5 bathroom condo-loft in Venice, CA for $925,000. The 1,096 square foot spread has double height ceilings, a wood and steel floating staircase, and a roof top terrace with wrap around views. (listing photo: Partners Trust)



Rosie O'Donnell and Lance Armstrong aren't the only celebs who caught a case of The Real Estate Fickle this week. The celebrity gossips at Radar Online revealed today that sitcom star Kevin James and hoisted the Delray Beach (FL) mansion he bought nine months ago for $18.5 million back on the market for $19.95 million. (aerial photo: Radar Online via Curbed)

NOTE: Turns out, Kevin James does not have a screaming case of The Celebrity Real Estate Fickle.

...that Lola Karimova-Tillyaeva—she would be the filthy rich 34-year old youngest daughter of Uzbekistan's autocratic president Islam Karimov—is the new owner of Le Palais, a genuinely prodigious and proudly palatial abode in Beverly Hills, CA, listed last summer (2012) on the open market with a publicity garnering $58,000,000 price tag.

Property records—at least none of the ones Your Mama scoured—do not reveal the purchase price and shield the new owner's identity behind an ambiguously named corporate entity with a mail box address in a run-of-the-mill strip mall in Culver City (CA). However, children, our ever-intrepid informant Yolanda Yakketyyak swears on her bejeweled life that he new owner of Le Palais is none other than Miz Karimova and another source—a high powered real estate mover and shaker we'll call Pete D. Propertypurveyor—snitched to Your Mama that word on the Platinum Triangle real estate street is that the garishly opulent mega-manse sold in mid-June (2013) for somewhere in the neighborhood of $47 million.*

This ain't nuthin' but gossip but we've been told twice by the sorts of people who know these sorts of things, including Mister Propertypurveyor, that Miz Karimova-Tillyaeva et famille—husband, Timur, and their three young children—had previously shacked up in a 12,000+ square foot villa in the guard-gated Beverly Park community that they rented from mid-priced handbag tycoon and hardcore real estate baller Bruce Makowsky. We don't have an inkling, of course, of how much the Karimova-Tillyaevas paid but we do know that Mister Makowsky has the 8 bedroom and 10 bathroom spread back up for rent at $100,000 per month.

Anyone who knows a thing about the upper echelons of the Platinum Triangle real estate market knows that Le Palais, a brobdingnagian faux-French chateau wrapped around technologically advanced and decidedly contemporary interiors, was built on spec from the ground up by Mohamed Hadid, a Beverly Hills based developer of who earned a significant portion of his fortune building Ritz Carlton Hotels and has risen to pop cultural semi-fame as a bit player on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Mister Hadid, in case any of ya'll somehow did not know, pals around with RHOBH queen bee Lisa Vanderpump and is the ex-husband of cast member Yolanda Foster who, some of the children may recall, hosted an on-camera cocktail party at Le Palais on the most recent season of the diamond encrusted drama-rama.

Miz Karimova-Tillyaeva, who maintains an extensive personal website that promotes her various diplomatic and philanthropic endeavors,** may be little known to most Americans but she hails from an internationally illustrious family with vast riches and, not surprisingly, a penchant for lavish living. In 2010 it was widely reported that Mister and Missus Karimova-Tillyaeva plunked down SFr43.4 million—about 41 million U.S. dollars according to Your Mama's trusty currency conversion contraption—for an estate in Vandeœuvres, a swank Swiss suburb often referred to as the Beverly Hills of Geneva. Miz Karimova-Tillyaeva's older sister, Goulnora—a well-connected and polarizing entrepreneur who currently serves as Uzbekistan's ambassador to Spain—also owns a Swiss hideaway in the neighboring community of Cologny that she reportedly picked up in 2009 for $18.2 million.

Le Palais, steel-framed and faced with imported French limestone, sits just off a bustling and clamorous Sunset Boulevard intersection. The house measures in at a monstrous 48,000 (or so) square feet that's tightly wedged on to a walled, gated and heavily secured two parcel property that encompasses a relatively compact 1.09 acres.

While the omnipresent traffic noise—not to mention the car exhaust—might be a deal breaker for some Richie Riches, La Palais' location directly across the street from the heavenly Beverly Hills Hotel is absolute perfection for those who fancy a quick daily luncheon at the world renown Polo Lounge where a (delicious) basket of Parmesan encrusted French fries will set a person back nine bucks and the Niçoise Salad rings up with at $36. (Your Mama and The Dr. Cooter both recommend the Mocha Ice Cream Pie. It's a goddamn bargain at $10 during lunch and still worth it during dinner when the price inexplicably jumps to $12.)

Listing details show the—ahem—elegant and elephantine abode contains a total of 7 bedrooms and 11 bathrooms plus three additional bathrooms that serve the outdoor areas. Digital marketing materials Your Mama peeped and perused do not indicate any existing staff bedrooms in the main house but do reveal that a two bedroom and 1 bathroom staff apartment is planned over the the garage.

Hand-cut Lalique-style glass front doors tucked into a soaring carved limestone arch off the gated driveway and motor court swing boastfully open into a showy entrance hall that stretches a (melo)dramatic (and arguably pompous) 90 feet front to back and soars to 30 feet high over head. Elaborate wood paneling surrounds the door frames and more Lalique-esque glass makes a sexy and sinuous curve up to a second floor gallery. Formal entertaining spaces include a very large but well-scaled formal living room with 14-foot ceilings and wood burning fireplace with French-made Italian white marble mantel. There's another wood burning fireplace with French-made Italian white marble mantel in the formal dining room that listing information states is well capable of comfortably seating 20-plus diners at a prairie-sized burled olive wood table.

Less formal but still preposterously proportioned family quarters include a library/office with paneled walls and built in bookcases that arch gently as they reach up to the ceiling. A ballroom-sized bar/lounge also has 14-foot ceilings, a third wood burning fireplace with French-made Italian white marble mantel, and direct access to the outdoor entertainment and recreation terraces. The colossal center island kitchen/family room combination has an coffered ceiling and is complete with informal dining space and a lounge area finished with a shelf-flanked fireplace surmounted by a flat screen television.

The sprawling lower level, accessed by stair or elevator, is a treasure trove of resort-style recreational amenities. There's a grand ballroom that seats up to 200 with an adjoining commercial grade catering kitchen, a screening room for 40 (or more) movie viewing guests, a professional quality fitness room, and what listing information calls "Moroccan room"—whatever that is. Also downstairs and something of a hallmark of Mister Hadid's gargantuan residential creations, is a sumptuous Turkish-style hammam with elaborately tiled 30-foot long indoor pool, steam and sauna facilities, and a private massage room. Rounding out the lower level, as per marketing materials, are a laundry room, various equipment rooms, and a secured underground garage for 10-12 cars.

Digital marketing materials reveal there's one guest bedroom with private bathroom and walk-in closet on the main floor plus four family bedrooms and a junior master suite on the second floor. The main master suite, also on the second floor, comprises a private sitting room/study with a curving wall of glass, an adjoining bedroom with fireplace, two behemoth bathrooms—plus a powder room, and dual dressing rooms that arguably have more in common with upscale boutiques and haberdasheries than with what most middle-brow people think of as a closet. The "hers" bathroom—bigger than Your Mama's entire garage—has a fireplace and the "his" has a hidden staircase that ascends to a 3,800 square foot roof top terrace with views that give a sweeping, low profile view from sunrise to sunset.

The grounds aren't particularly expansive—this is a massive home on a 1.09 acre piece of property in the proverbial heart of Beverly Hills, after all—but there are none-the-less, according to marketing materials, expansive stone terraces girdled by carved stone balustrades, a chandelier-lit and fireplace-warmed al fresco dining area, a built-in barbecue and outdoor kitchen area, and a row of curtained cabana lounges just like you might expect to see at a swellegant Ritz Carlton resort. There are also, as per marketing materials, four rose gardens, a swan pond (!!), a couple of fountains, a fire feature or two, and a couple of garden sculptures as well as an allee of mature magnolia trees that line the long sides of the sixty foot long swimming pool and 20 person spa. The curving pool pavilion offers additional plein air lounging areas and several bathrooms and changing rooms.

Forget about the mortgage—believe it or not, butter beans, plenty of bazillonaires carry heavy duty mortgages—but Your Mama simply keels and reels at the exorbitant costs associated with staffing, securing and maintaining a private residence of this magnitude. This isn't a beach cottage one closes up and padlocks at the end of the summer. No, puppies, a house like this has to be be fully staffed whether the owners live in it 365 days a year or—more likely—drop in for a few days or a few weeks a couple times a year. For chrissakes the owner of a home like this has to pay a full time person—probably a six figure earning estate manager—just to keep track of the army of low wage workers hired to mow the lawns, pull the weeds, wash the windows, vacuum the carpets, clean the pool, trim the trees, fix the oven, scrub the toilets, secure the perimeter on a 24-7 basis, and on and on and on. But, children, such are the excessive financial abilities of someone like, say, a prodigiously rich dictator's daughter, right?

*All just rumor and conjecture, puppies, rumor and conjecture.

**Miz Karimova-Tillyaeva's website shows she's earned a bachelor's and master's degrees in International Law from the University of World Economy and Diplomacy in Tashkent"—that's in Uzbekistan, kids—and "later received a doctorate in Psychology from Tashkent State University." She heads up a couple of "major charitable organizations" that promote education and sports and champion the rights of orphaned and disabled children. She currently serves and "Uzbekistan's envoy to UNESCO." An unflattering, a September 2012 article on the Foreign Policy website claims Miz Karimova-Tillyaeva "is a business mogul in her own right" who owns a company that controls the import of Chinese goods. Although we have no way of verifying the accuracy of the reporting, Miz Karimova-Tillyaeva and her olders sister's combined fortune was estimated in late 2011 to be about $1 billion. 

listing photos: Coldwell Banker Previews International

BUYER: Joe Manganiello
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,806,000
SIZE; 2,422 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama first heard it last week from the freakishly well-connected real estate yenta Yolanda Yakketyyak and then we heard if from our eerily well-informed celebrity real estate confrère Lucy Spillerguts: In late April (2013), hard-bodied actor Joe Manganiello quietly coughed up $1,806,000 for a updated and upgraded 1960s ranch house nestled into a discrete—and discreet—neighborhood between L.A's Laurel and Nichols canyons.

Not surprisingly, Mister Manganiello—a six-foot-five-inch classically trained thespian with rippling muscles and uncommonly good looks—found immediate if slow burning Showbiz success soon after arriving in Hollywood in the early 2000s when he landed the role of Flash Thompson in the Spider-Man film franchise. He went on to score recurring roles on a handful of television programs such as American Heiress, ER, How I Met Your Mother, and One Tree Hill before he nabbed his plummiest role to date, that of a surveying company owning werewolf on the astoundingly successful supernatural drama True Blood. Mister Manganiello's professional credits also include a number of theater productions and a growing bunch of feature films including the star studded but woefully flaccid rom-com What To Expect When You're Expecting. Last year, much to the delight of lusty ladies and concupiscent gays around the globe, the scraggly bearded and bodaciously built beau hunk bared just about every inch of his carefully sculpted man-body in the high octane male stripper fest Magic Mike.

Evidence Your Mama quickly and easily discovered on the internets suggests there may have been stiff competition for the house as property records reveal Mister Manganiello—through an ambiguously named trust—paid $17,000 more than the last asking price of $1,790,000 for the low slung, single-story residence that contains four bedrooms and three bathrooms in 2,422 square feet.

A slate courtyard lined along the street with a glimmering row of stainless steel planter boxes leads to the front door that opens to a proper entrance hall. A stacked stone wall the color of dry sand anchors one side of the foyer and wraps around to face the over-sized fireplace in the wood-floored living room.  The adjoining dining room, separated from the living room by an elevated stone tile walkway and row of slender square columns, has a quartet of French doors the open to the backyard. The living and dining room flow directly into a family room with more wood floors, more French doors to the backyard, and a handsome, geometrically minded slate-faced corner fireplace.

The well-equipped, U-shaped kitchen has dark brown or maybe black Shaker style cabinets with sleek stainless steel hardware, mottled grey counter tops that may or may not be granite, and a customary suite of high-quality stainless steel appliances. The adjoining breakfast area has floor to ceiling pantry cabinets one one side and frosted glass double doors on the other that conceal a wet bar with under-counter wine fridge, stainless steel vessel sink, and floating shelves on which the sellers displayed their booze bottles and stemware.

The master suite isn't huge but it is certainly comfortably appointed with a custom-fitted walk-in closet, a separate dressing area with built-in dressers, and an all-beige bathroom slathered in travertine. French doors conveniently connect directly to the backyard. It's not, however, the master bedroom but one of the three secondary guest/family bedrooms that's the real voyeuristic show stopper since all the separates the sleeping area from the attached bathroom is a transparent wall of floor-to-ceiling and wall-to-wall glass.

The back of the L-shaped house embraces a courtyard type back yard where dark slate terracing wraps completely around a dark bottomed, kidney-ish shaped swimming pool and spa. We love the look of that dark slate but we imagine it could get a little roasty on the tootsies when—as it regularly does in Southern California—the mercury spikes. Anyways, there's plenty of room for dining, lounging and sunbathing as well as a built-in barbecue and a built-in fire pit.

Mister Manganiello currently squires curvaceous brunette model Bridget Peters who, at least according to Lucy Spillerguts, currently shacks up with her super-sized True Blood stud.

listing photos: Keller Williams Beverly Hills

SELLER: Ricki Lake
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $8,750,000
SIZE: (roughly) 5,226 square feet, 5-6 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Looks like somewhat newly (re-)married actress, Emmy winning daytime chat show hostess, and Dancing with the Stars alum Ricki Lake is on the move and has listed her long time home in L.A.'s tony Brentwood area with an asking price of $8,750,000.
Property records show Miz Lake purchased the Plantation-style residence in October 2002—just shy of a year before she and her first husband, Rob Sussman, parted romantic ways—for $5,600,000 from producer, sitcom star, and celebrity house flipper Courteney Cox (Friends, Cougartown).

Although listing details don't specify the square footage, the L.A. County Tax Man puts the low-profile two story residence at 5,226 square feet, a figure that may or may not reflect its actual size. Listing information also indicates there are six bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms, while the Tax Man shows six bedrooms and five full bathrooms. Listing details go on to show the existing house, all but hidden behind lush and mature semi-tropical foliage, high walls, and double driveway gates, was originally built in 1949 on a flat, .81 acre parcel on a famously star-lined street in Brentwood.

The central foyer has an ill-advised and unusually—uh—whimsical, lavender-toned polka dot paint treatment. Old-fashioned polished parquet wood floors extend in to the main living spaces, an interconnected clump of rooms that include a compact library, a narrow and essentially windowless central formal dining room, and a roomy formal living room that features a wood burning fireplace, a raised ceiling that may or may not be silver leafed—we can't tell, and several dramatically over-sized nine-over-nine sash windows.

A wide bank of paned glass panels glide open and disappear into the walls to connect the dining room with a sky-lit, open-concept family room and kitchen with dark wood floors, a carved stone (or poured concrete) fireplace mantel, several sets of French doors that open to an outdoor living room area, and a vaulted ceiling with deliciously chunky exposed wood beams. We're quite smitten with how Miz Lake—or her nice-gay or lady decorator—color coordinated the spines of her book collection in the built-in shelves that flank the fireplace since, well, Your Mama has a OCD-ish tendency to color coordinate the spines of our always expanding collection of mostly paperback books, too.

The family room merges with the spacious center island kitchen that appears upgraded and well-equipped with dark chocolate colored wood cabinetry, stone colored counter tops of unknown material, and the usual complement of high grade stainless steel appliances. However, that quilted stainless steel breakfast island with the glossy wood counter top and the quartet of sculptural, Eames/Brâncusi-esque stools? We're afraid all that amounts to a brazen breach of decorative good taste in Your Mama's utterly meaningless opinion. Anyways...

There are five bedrooms in the main house, according to listing information, including a second floor guest bedroom provided with a private exterior entrance that makes it ideal for staff, in-laws and/or house guests who, like our  our boozy b.f.f. Fiona Trambeau, have a rude tendency to sneak newly met paramours in the their host's home. A sixth bedroom is used by Miz Lake as a home office, as per listing details, and the spacious master suite is complete with sitting area, two fireplaces, and a luxury bathroom with twin sinks, stall shower, separate soaking tub, and radiant heated floors.

It may be a bit cliche to say but the grounds really are pretty park-like with lushly landscaped courtyards, broad sweeps of verdant lawn dotted with mature shade trees, and an open air dining pavilion with built-in outdoor kitchen/barbecue.

The swimming pool and spa are set well away from the house along with an itty-bitty cottage that could be used for any number of purposes including housing gravely flatulent house guests. Listing photographs indicate Miz Lake utilized the free-standing hut-like cabana as an fitness room with a few free weights, a couple of body firming exercise contraptions, a yoga mat, and a portable dry sauna that barely looks big enough for  one person let alone two or more.

Miz Lake's mini-estate sits on one of the more coveted lanes in quietly but decidedly affluent Brentwood where other home owners include Maria Shriver, Arianna Huffington, Lindsay Buckingham, and Betty White. Property records show Tobey Maguire and his Tinseltown pedigreed jewelry designer wife, Jennifer Meyer Maguire, still own the still vacant lot just down and across the street for Miz Lake's spread that they scooped up in early 2008 for $10 millon.

listing photos: Partners Trust