SELL BUY PROPERTY

SELLER: Mark Wahlberg and Rea Durham
LOCATION: Beverly Hills (Post Office), CA
PRICE: $12,995,000
SIZE: 11,500 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 10.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: It's baaack! Ever since the fall of 2008, when it was first listed on the open market with an in hind-sight optimistic asking price of $15,900,000, two-time Oscar-nominated actor/producer Mark Wahlberg and his baby-making wife Rhea Durham—who may (or may not) be preggers with their fifth bambino—have been on a so-far-unsuccessful journey to unload their deluxe and fully-customized compound tucked into a fancy-pants hillside holler deep in the mountains above Beverly Hills, CA.

By September 2011 the asking price for the mini-resort-like spread had plummeted to $13,995,000 and yesterday the Wahlberg-Durham spread, around a few tight bends on the same street in the same Beverly Hills (Post Office) 'hood where Demi Moore lives, was de- and quickly re-listed with a new and lower asking price of $12,995,000.

Property records (and other online resources) indicate the Tinseltown power player acquired the Beverly Hills estate in November 2001 for $4,950,000.

Current listing information shows the mock-Med mansion-compound has a total of 11,500 square feet with 7 bedrooms and 10 bathrooms divided between the nearly 9,000 square foot main mansion, the two bedroom and two bathroom two-story guesthouse and wherever else on the property there might be a restroom.

The gated and landscaped 1.73 grounds, the proverbial, self-contained and very private, celebrity-style playground, come complete with with meandering putting green; lagoon style swimming pool with loopy waterfall and water slide; multiple poolside cabanas and tented lounge areas; a grotto spa; lighted, full-sized sunken basketball court; and a cavernous fitness facility—a giant shed really—with professional quality gym and regulation-sized boxing ring.

Presumably Mister and Missus Wahlberg's desire to sell their private paradise of 10-plus years has something to to with the posh pad they're (allegedly) set to build in the unapologetically (and almost cartoonishly) lavish, guard-gated Beverly Park community.

Back in May 2009, several sources snitched to Your Mama that Mister Wahlberg and wife spent $8,250,000 to purchase one of the few remaining vacant parcels in the architecturally steroidal community of mega-mansions.

Listing information for the 6-plus acre lot from the time of the sale stated plans were available for a "30,000 square foot Mediterranean Villa." We don't know if Mister and Missus Wahlberg opted to go with the 30,000 square foot Mediterranean Villa but we did receive unconfirmed reports through the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine the couple recently broke ground on whatever it is they've embarked to build.

As far as Your Mama knows—and, of course, we don't know a damn thing about anything—beside this Bev Hills compound and the big Beverly Park parcel Mister Wahlberg's property portfolio is otherwise empty.

listing photos: Hilton & Hyland

SELLER: Armistead Maupin
LOCATION: San Francisco, CA
PRICE: $1,198,000
SIZE: 1,606 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Last night—or rather very early this morning—Your Mama received a brief (but breathless) phone call from our boozed-fueled b.f.f. Fiona Trambeau up in San Francisco who slurred and shouted in our sleepy ear about the long-time residence of quintessentially San Francisco writer Armistead Maupin coming up for sale with an asking price of $1,198,000.

Mister Maupin and his younger man-friend-husband Chris Turner—a former holistic healer who founded (and sold) the homosex-oriented hook up site Daddy Hunt—revealed to the press some time ago they planned to decamp to the Native American pottery and turqwahze infested haven of Santa Fe (NM), so this particular real estate turn of events isn't such a big surprise for literary-minded real estate watchers like Your Mama and Fiona, who despite her wanton ways and stevedore vocabulary, is quite well read with deep and real roots in the San Francisco literary scene. Even though Mister Maupin is currently at work on a new book, the move, Mister Turner somewhat tongue in cheek told S.F. Gate writer Leah Garchik back in mid June the move to Santa Fe was precipitated by "Armistead's retirement and my mid-life crisis."

Through his internationally renown Tales of the City series Mister Maupin is most closely associated with the Barbary Coast area of San Francisco, where many of his iconic, soap story-like novels are set. That would be in and around the North Beach nabe. However, property records show Mister Maupin has owned this modestly sized (if hardly inexpensive) house in the upscale Parnassus Heights 'hood near the Haight Ashbury since 1993 when he shelled out $615,000 for the cozy cottage set privately and high above the street behind a thick screen of trees.

Current listing information ol' Fiona scared up out of the interweb shows the three story, cedar shingled Craftsman/Edwardian-style house, was originally built in 1906 and is currently configured with 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms in 1,606 square feet.

A gated and gluttially punishing brick stairway at the street level, next to the single car garage tucked into the verdant hillside, zig-zags up the steep slope to a tree-shaded view deck and front door that opens directly into the somewhat compact living room finished with inlaid hardwood floors, textured Anaglypta wall coverings, built-in book cases—natch—and a through the tree tops city view.

The adjoining dining room opens though sliding glass doors to a small, lushly planted back yard with a variety of flag stone and brick terraces plus a built-in barbecue. The unfortunately squeezy kitchen isn't going to win any design awards from Your Mama but it is outfitted, as per listing information, with "Corian type counters, stone floor and stainless clad appliances" that include a radiant and convection oven, whatever that is. A slender breakfast counter nestled into one end of the kitchen has direct views of the backyard.

One of the two second floor bedrooms—listing information calls it the master bedroom—has a built-in seating bench, custom shelving for books and knick-knacks, dual fitted closets, and "expansive" views that sweep over the city from Marin to the East Bay. The second floor master bedroom unfortunately shares a compact hall facility (with marble counter top) with a second, smaller bedroom with garden outlook.

A second master suite tucked up into the eaves on the third floor has an origami-like ceiling, over-sized closet, attached private bathroom, sweeping views and direct access to a roof terrace with garden and Sutro Tower views.

Mistes Maupin and Turner plan to pack up their Labradoodle and road trip across the country and loop back to attend Burning Man in late August before resettling in Santa Fe.

listing photos: Herth Real Estate

SELLER: Kevin Wendle
LOCATION: New York City, NY
PRICE: $12,500,000
SIZE: 8,475 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 5 full and 4 half bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: This morning we awoke to a flurry of communiques from Hot Chocolate—one of Your Mama's unofficial (and unpaid) aides de camp—who thought we might want to have a wee look-see at a rather striking New York City townhouse recently listed at $12,500,000. Ever the astute observer of the nuances of real estate, Hot Chocolate included a brief note in which he sassily snipped the townhouse sits so far to the east on East 75th street "you could grow tea."

For the record, the red brick mansion with the very contemporary interiors sits mid-block between 1st and York Avenues. So—let's be honest—as Hot Chocolate suggests, stereotypical Upper East Side real estate snobs who prefer to be west of Park Avenue at all times probably do see the townhouse's far east locale as akin to Bumfuck Somewhereundesirable. Unless, like Madonna's daughter, their children attend the $26,000-plus per year Lycée Français de New York. Then it's a super convenient location.

A quick run around the interweb and a perfunctory peek-n-poke through property records shows the house is owned through a corporate entity connected to Showbiz and media world bigwig Kevin Wendle. Tabloid reader may not recognize Mister Wendle's name but a good amount of the people who appear in the tabloids and gossips glossies surely know exactly who he is: a co-founder of the Fox network, E! Online, CNET and iFilm. At least one bio accessible online says Mister Wendle developed The Simpsons and Beverly Hills 90210 (the original one) and launched the careers of both Will Smith and Johnny Depp. Big stuff if that's the professional pond you swim in, you know?

Anyhoo, the tee-vee producer turned tech investor only purchased the townhouse in January of this year (2012), according to public property records, for $8,400,000.

He bought the four-floor, former carriage house from a French-American banker named Pierre Olivier "Oliver" Sarkozy, otherwise known as the recently divorced half-brother of former president of France Nicolas Sarkozy and the current, much older man-beau of pint-sized billionaire Mary-Kate Olsen.

Monsieur Sarkozy (et famille) acquired the property in early 2005, according to property records, for $6,500,000 from the estate of world renown art and fashion photographer Richard Avedon who, arty-farty types recall, went to meet his maker in 2004 while on assignment for The New Yorker in Texas.

Presumably having something to do with there parting of romantic ways Mister and ex-Missus Sarkozy first attempted to sell the townhouse in May 2010 when it popped up on the market to much hoopla and fanfare with an asking price of $11,995,000. Several price reductions and 2.5 years were required before our Mister Wendle came along and paid, as mentioned earlier, $8,400,000 for the townhouse.


Current listing information shows the 25-foot wide townhouse, originally erected in 1910, stands four floors above ground plus one below and measures in at and impressively spacious (and approximate) 8,475 square feet. The current configuration as shown in floor plans included with current marketing materials allows for five (an possibly six or even seven) bedrooms with five full and four half bathrooms.

The lazy, the infirm and domestic workers of all types among us have already noted—no doubt—the lack of an elevator. Certainly not the worst possible problem in a five-floor urban mansion, but one that will likely cool the jets of one or two deep-pocketed potential buyers.

The 45-foot long, loft-like main living/dining/kitchen at the top of the main stairs as the rear of the residence's second floor was stripped of any and all traditional architectural paradigms such as molding. A pair of chunky columns and a low, rectilinear peninsula hint at divisions of commodious chamber where there are radiant headed white oak floors under foot and stark, gallery white walls all around. Listing information indicates the slate-lined half bathroom tucked into a back corner of the space is newly installed and Your Mama imagines the sparingly utilized, contemporary and vintage furnishings (not to mention the artwrks) are probably papered, pedigreed and/or frightfully pricey.

A simple, black rectilinear counter top divides the lounge area(s) from the cooking and eating area(s) where the counter tops are black granite slabs and a full wall of floor-to-ceiling glass panels peel open to a decked backyard landscaped with boxwood hedges and cherry trees. A floating steel staircase ascends to an even larger, landscaped roof deck simply outfitted with cushioned, built-in bench (sort of) shaded by a barely there, minimalist's dream pergola.

The first of two master suites discretely occupies the street side of the second floor and includes a long entrance hall with built-in storage, walk-in closet and attached bathroom slathered in enough thickly veined white marble to build an impressive mausoleum for a Gilded Age robber baron.

One flight up a second master suite at the rear has fireplace, private bathroom and direct access to the aforementioned roof terrace while a home office/den on the street side has a fireplace and attached bathroom and could easily be converted to a third master suite.

A spacious sun run and three fairly compact bedrooms on the fourth floor share two hall bathrooms, one windowless and the other with a sky light. Two of the bedrooms face the street and each have two large windows while the third bedroom has only a sky light for light and ventilation.

The street level gallery space—Mister Avedon's former studio, one imagines—has direct access from the street through an inset brick archway and double arched doors. A wide, art gallery-like hall stretches past a fully-equipped stainless steel kitchen and adjoining half bathroom and opens into a large, flexi-use studio/gallery/entertainment space. Another half bathroom and a well-lit hair and make-up nook complete the street level space. The half-floor basement below, according to the floor plan, has a small home gym, dark room and a number of storage options.

Current listing information states the exterior was "painstakingly and expertly repointed" and the interiors equipped with a central vacuum system, new boiler and water filtration system, a video intercom system, and all-inclusive state-of-the-art security and safety systems (gas detectors, water sensors and intruder detectors, etc.).

Your Mama don't know a cat's ass from a cookie jar, of course, so we really can't say what's behind Mister Wendle's real estate change of heart here. Whatever his motivations may be it's clear he and his swanky Real Estates believe the improvements he's made in the short time he's owned it render the stunning and stark townhouse worth more than four million clams more than he paid for it.

Discuss.

listing photos and floor plan: Town Real Estate

Earlier today Your Mama blathered and rattled on (and on) about the documentary film called The Queen of Versailles that documents the triumphs, travails and (still ongoing) efforts of time share tycoon David Siegel and his wife Jackie to complete construction on Versailles, the monstrous, 90,000 square foot faux-French palace-y pile they're building about 20 minutes outside downtown Orlando, FL.

Although they have floated and flitted their way across the interweb via various property gossip blogs and websites, the double-doozy floor plans first appeared on a still-active website set up to market the still-for-sale property, now listed (unfinished) with a $65,000,000 price tag.

We can't vouch for the authenticity or accuracy of the floor plans but as best as we can surmise these plans do indeed follow very closely to the basic shape and layout of the house as described and seen in photographs in current (and past) listings, press accounts of the property, and the aforementioned documentary film. And, remember, they do come from a website with contact information for the current listing agents. So they do appear to be pretty damn real.

Real and/or accurate or now, they are something to behold. We don't know what, exactly, but something.

floor plan renderings: LakeButlerMansion.com

...scuttlebutt on the real estate superhighway is that tetra-gajillionaire Larry Ellison has tasked a few of his '"people"' to inform a few of the more savvy Real Estates who work the streets of San Francisco's Marina District that the spendy Oracle founder might be willing to drop a yacht-load of money for a few well-located houses that are not currently on the market.

So the rumor goes on the San Fran-centric real estate blog SocketSite, the Real Estates were to provide Mister Ellison's so-called '"people"' with a few names of property owners who "might be willing to accept an offer they can't refuse."

Presumably his (alleged) desire to snatch up properties in the Marina District has something (or everything) to do with San Francisco being the host city for the finals of the America's Cup yacht racing extravaganza, due to storm waters and streets the city for two weeks next September (2013).

We don't know a manhole from a garden house but Your Mama can imagine the yachting aficionado—who already owns a very large and very contemporary mansion with sweeping (if a wee bit obstructed) view of the San Francisco Bay 10 or 12 blocks away in Pacific Heights—wants closer, more convenient access for himself and his VIP guests to the water front, some where along which the Oracle-sponsored racing fleet will be parked and plucked and waxed and/or whatever one does to keep a brutally expensive racing vessel looking like like fast-moving perfection on the water.

Mister Ellison could probably save himself umpteen millions and hassles by offering ludicrous sums of cash to rent their homes for the duration of the regatta (or whatever such yachting festivals are called). But this is a man whose personal property portfolio is easily valued at a quarter billion dollars or more considering the recent rumors he's agreed to pay upwards of half a billion dollars for the entire Hawaiian island of Lanai. Renting is not how this trophy property collecting tech-sector tycoon rolls.

Buckle your real estate safety belts, butter beans, because those busy beavers at Curbed snagged another mouth watering snippet of the recently released documentary The Queen of Versailles, a feature length film that chronicles the bizarro plight of recession-affected time share mogul David Siegel and his publicity lovin' wife Jackie to build the largest house in America. In Orlando. For reals.

The unfinished, palace-sized pad (shown finished in renderings, above) sits on 1,250 feet of everglade-y water front in an affluent, gated enclave on Lake Butler, spans somewhere around 90,000 square feet and was custom designed with a slew of such necessary features as 13 bedrooms and 21 full and 2 half bathrooms. Let's not forget the triple-height, hangar-sized grand ballroom with twin floating staircases (below); all ten kitchens and a sushi bar; four fireplaces; and a 10,000 square foot health spa with indoor swimming pool. And that's just the start...

When finished the still-unfinished house will be equipped with a two-lane bowling alley and arcade; an indoor roller rink that converts to an ice rink in the basement; two movie theaters—one for the kids one for the grown ups; a 4,000 square foot closet in the master bedroom; and a 20-car garage.

Naturally the planned interior architectural details and day-core, as seen in renderings included with marketing materials for the over-blown property (above), push and bully their way well beyond opulent and deep into the decoratively dangerous territory of gaudy and grotesque. But that isn't really a surprise, is it now? No, it's not.

The 10-plus acre grounds were designed with a piazza-like, half acre terrace off the back of the house that wraps around three sides of a resort-scaled, infinity edge swimming pool. Mister Siegal is in the resort bizness after all. Also planned also three grotto spas; two tennis courts—one, for some reason, with stadium seating; a private dock with (an also not finished) open-air boat house; and a full-sized baseball field designed to do double duty as a parking large for large parties and events.

The Siegels have had the bloated mega-mansion on the market since 2010 when it came up for sale unfinished with a $75,000,000 price tag or finished with all it's finey with a $100,000,000 asking price. It's now listed for $65,000,000 (uncompleted) and $90,000,000 (completed).

If the house doesn't sell, so Missus Siegel recently told the crew at The Today Show, with filmmaker Lauren Greenfield sitting right next to her, she and Mister Siegel, their 8 children and whatever live-in staff they maintain will move into the elephantine house.

The spectacular story of real estate schadenfreude gets even more preposterous, children. Are you ready for this? While Missus Siegel—sometimes alongside Miz Greenfield—goes around and chit-chats with The Media about the movie, the house and her family, Mister Siegel has done filed a lawsuit against the filmmaker (and others) for alleged defamation. He says the film doesn't tell the whole story, which is that his recession-hobbled time share operation is now on the mend and that he and the missus plan to continue and complete construction on their hyper-huge mansion, Versailles. They call it Versailles. Of course they call it Versailles.

Listen, chickens, these people can do whatever they want with whatever money they have. Fair or not, it's their money to do as they please. What puzzles and perplexes Your Mama is why someone would do this with all that money.  Mister Siegel himself said the exterior design of the house was "kind of copied" from top three floors of the Paris Las Vegas hotel and casino in Las Vegas. Seriously, he said that. Watch the clip.

Before any of you people get all hot under the collar and smart-mouthed with Your Mama and start hollerin' about how we're a socialist (or some shit) and ought to clam up our brazenly opinionated flap-trap, keep in mind Mister and Missus Siegel signed up for all the publicity and nonsense. They could have told all us crazy property gossips, "It's a very large home we intend to occupy as a family. We have no other comment. Thank you." Instead, they allowed a prominent filmmaker to follow them around for three years in order to make a movie about them and that house. Harsh as it may seem—and actually be—the Siegels invited whatever criticisms (and congratulations) they get as a result of their very public and unapologetically profligate real estate ways. We don't make the rules, but them is the rules of the modern day media world.

listing photos: Florida Ranch Lands

SELLERS: Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell
LOCATION: Pacific Palisades, CA
PRICE: $7,250,000
SIZE: .56 acres

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama heard from a little celebrity real estate birdie we'll call Larry Looselips that Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have quietly floated a vacant residential parcel in Pacific Palisades, CA on the market with an asking price of $7,250,000.

Truth be told, kittens, we were as flabbergasted as y'all. Your Mama didn't even know they owned a vacant piece of land in Pacific Palisades, a quiet, slightly staid and decidedly upscale coastal community situated between Santa Monica and Malibu. We knew they've lived in Pac Pal since the Ice Age, as does Miz Hawn's famous daughter Kate Hudson, but not a damn thing about this vacant property. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Forty seven seconds of research in to the property records, however, revealed it was only back in January 2011 when Mister Russell and Miz Hawn acquired the .56 acre spread on the elevated and coveted Palisades Riviera Rim for $5,700,000.

At the time of their purchase, according to old listing information we coaxed up out of the internets, the all-but-pancake-flat property had a musty- and fusty-looking 3,088 square foot residence originally built in the 1950s with 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms and a backyard swimming pool. While the house was no great shakes, the far end of the backyard drops off to a panoramic eastern view over the rustic (but posh) Mandeville Canyon 'hood, past The Getty, beyond the gleaming towers of Century City and—on a clear day—all the way to the sometimes snow-capped Mt. Baldy.

The existing house was razed, the land graded and a prominent architect hired to design a big new house. Current listing information shows there are active plans and permits in place for a Steve Giannetti-designed mini-compound with 6 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, an exercise room, separate media room, and eat-in kitchen. Deep verandas designed along the back of the house have long city and sky views unimpeded except by a new swimming pool, spa and adjacent pavilion/studio.

We really don't know if the unmarried pair actually imagined they would occupy the premises or if the purchase and subsequent sale was always planned as a money-making business venture but a few, quick clicks and clacks of the beads on Your  Mama's bejeweled abacus shows the current price is $1,550,000 more than the Russell-Hawns. paid for the place just over 1.5 years ago.

Surely a small fortune was spent on cleaning and preparing the land and we'd bet both our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly the services of Mister Giannetti probably cost them more then Your Mama earns in two years. Even still, if the real estate gods favor their plight and someone comes along and pays close to the asking price the Hawn-Russells could probably pull down close to a million bucks for the buying and selling efforts. Not bad work if you can get it, right?

Miz Hawn and Mister Russell may not enjoy the white hot Showbiz careers they once did but make no mistake, muffin tops, these two are straight up Tinseltown aristocrats who maintain an extensive (and expensive) property portfolio to prove it. In addition to the on-sale parcel and their current Pac Pal residence, snatched up in August 2004 for $4,124,591, the couple owns an ocean front house on Malibu's Broad Beach they've been trying to sell and/or lease on and off for years. Their beach house in the Bu is currently listed with an asking price of $11,200,000, recently and dramatically reduced from $14,749,000.

The couple also have a sprawling desert compound in a swank, gated enclave in Palm Desert, CA they picked up in July 2003 for $3,615,000; an even larger, multi-residence compound outside Snowmass, CO, some (or all) of which was purchased in the mid-1980s; a Midtown Manhattan penthouse apartment owned since the late 1990s and bought for an undisclosed amount of dough; and a secluded lake front spread north of Toronto, Canada, on Lake Rosseau.

listing photo: Coldwell Banker / Malibu

BUYER: Rosie O'Donnell
LOCATION: New York City, NY
PRICE: around $8,000,000
SIZE: 3,202 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The New York Post reported today that acerbic and sometimes polarizing comedienne and former chat show host Rosie O'Donnell has "plunked down about $8 million for a four-bedroom apartment with outdoor space" in a converted hospital building many New Yorkers probably remember as part of the now-shuttered St. Vincent's Catholic Medical Center complex on (and around) West 12th Street in Greenwich Village.

A quick perusal of listings on StreetEasy reveals the only 4 bedroom apartment with outdoor space in the eight million dollar range in that particular building is a duplex penthouse with 3,202 square feet, 3 bathrooms, 3 exposures, and a private, 435 square foot terrace.

The open plan main living space has a long wall of windows and French doors to access the city-view terrace and a butler's pantry hall that connects the dining area with an almost all-white and expensively equipped center-island kitchen.

The building topper's floor plan included with current marketing materials shows one bedroom/study downstairs (with access to a windowless guest/hall bathroom), two more guest/family bedrooms situated on either side of another windowless hall bathroom upstairs, and an expansive master suite complete with sitting area, double-windowed walk-in closet and spacious and also double-windowed bathroom outfitted with two sinks, stall shower and separate tub.

While we recognize it's truly a luxury to have private washer and dryer hook ups in even the most expensive of New York City apartments, the location of the stacked equipment in a closet at the top of the stairs of this $8 million duplex penthouse is not ideal.

The newly converted pre-war structure was re-worked by a big-time New York City real estate family—they would be the Rudins—with numerous state-of-the-art, green-minded notions meant to qualify the building for LEED certification.

The old public hospital now provides residents with luxury amenities that include full-time doormen, a resident superintendent, Jed Johnson-designed common areas, a fitness center, cold storage (for ice cream, flower and milk deliveries), a rooftop terrace, an emergency power system for black outs and other such events, a building-wide wi-fi and water-filtering system, and energy-efficient heating and cooling equipment. For all of that common charges are shown on listing information we peeped at $3,234 per month with an additional $3,824 per month in taxes. A few quick flicks of the well-worn beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows the penthouse will cost Miz O'D $84,696 per year not counting mortgage payments, alterations and/or improvements, and utility bills.

Miz O'D has been much in the celebrity real estate news lately due to her purchase and quick sale of a the Chicago townhouse where she shacked up during her short-lived talk show on Oprah's eponymous and flailing network (OWN). Miz O'D's property portfolio currently includes (but may not be limited to) a nearly 1,400 square foot condo crib on a middle floor of a 43-story residential tower in Hell's Kitchen bought in October 2008 for $2,005,000, a substantial, multi-residence river-front compound in Nyack, NY, and and 11 bedroom and 12.5 bathroom bay-front estate on Miami's star-stocked Star Island, currently up for sale with a $19,500,000 asking price.

Note to the children: The exterior photo is a rendering and the kitchen photo may or may not be an accurate representation of the kitchen in the penthouse Miz O'D is reportedly (and at this point, allegedly) acquiring.

photo and floor plan: Stribling via 130west12.com

SELLER: Nicky Hilton
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,950,000
SIZE: 4,072 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Hotel heiress, handbag designer and Tinseltown gal about town Nicky Hilton has hoisted her Los Angeles, CA residence on the open market with an asking price of $2,950,000.

Property records (and various reports from the time) indicate Miss Hilton, now pushing 30, bought the large but fairly unassuming 2-story residence just over five years ago, in June 2007, for $2,800,000 and current listing information shows Miss Hilton's house, set a bit above the street with a semi-circular driveway on a long cul-de-sac just above the western tail of the famed Sunset Strip, was built in 1942 on a .35 acre parcel, measures 4,072 square feet and contains total of 3 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms.

Like her older sister, Paris, Nicky engaged the services of Hilton family friend, lady-decorator and Tinseltown gal about town Faye Resnick, former b.f.f. of Nicole Brown Simpson who once appeared in her birthday suit in Playboy (1995), occasionally appears on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and did up (some but not all) of Miss Hilton's home in a very tightly restrained (and kinda cliché) glamorpuss-a-thon black and white palette with lots (and lots) of chrome, mirrored and white lacquer accents.

Wide brick steps climb up from the driveway to a spacious entrance hall with gleaming, milk-chocolate-colored hardwood floors. To one side of the foyer, the white-walled formal living room has glossy black moldings; a wide window that overlooks the front yard; French doors that open to the backyard; and a sexy fireplace—or "sexy" fireplace depending on your point of view—flanked by a pair chrome and glass bar carts and a pair of kitchy white ceramic dogs that we're not 100% sure where meant to be kitchy.

One one side of the fireplace Miss Hilton has hung an iconic 1955 photograph by Slim Aarons of stylish (and deceased) East Coast socialite and writer C.Z. Guest standing poolside with her son (and a couple of dogs) in front of the wacky Grecian temple at Villa Artemis, her ocean front estate in Palm Beach, FL. On the other there hangs what could be—but may or may not actually be—a Bert Stern-snapped portrait of Marilyn Monroe.

On the other side of the foyer from the formal living room Miz Resnick papered at least one wall in the formal dining room with an appetite-suppressing, Rorschach-ian black and white pattern that was mirrored in the white applique design on the front of a black lacquer cabinet opposite the front door. Did y'all catch that decorative slight of hand, too?

An old-school swinging door in the dining room connects through to the sizable, center island kitchen finished with herringbone-pattern wood floors that look in listing photos to be a reddish-caramel-color and that Your Mama hopes and prays are actually the same milk-chocolate color as in the rest of the house; white, hardware-free cabinetry, some with glass fronts; black, possibly granite, counter tops; black and stainless steel commercial-style appliances including 4 ovens and 2 built-in fridges; a roomy pantry; an upsetting, sage green painted ceiling and an even more distressing industrial-looking pot rack hung over the center island with only a handful of pots and pans.

The walls of the adjacent breakfast room are papered in the same distinctive, Don Loper-designed Martinique banana leaf pattern as is installed on the walls of the fab Fountain Coffee Shop downstairs at the perennially-iconic and impossibly-chic Beverly Hills Hotel, a hotel, incidentally, Miss Hilton's family neither owns nor ever owned.

Additional rooms and amenities, according to current listing information, include a family room/den with fireplace that does not look like it's been given a once over by Miz Resnick or anybody else for that matter; a gym and sauna; interior laundry facilities; and a master suite described in current listing information as "Dramatic" with 2 huge closets and 2 bathrooms, at least one of which has multiple mirrored walls, double sinks set into some sort of burnt orange colored counter top material, and an oval soaking tub.

Many rooms off the back of the house open to a narrow, tree-shaded backyard nestled into a steep slope with meandering, multi-level Mexican paver tile terracing, lagoon-style swimming pool, spa, waterfall and outdoor fireplace.

Current listing information also lets it be known Miss Hilton would is also willing to lease the property at a rate of $15,000 per month.

listing photos: Hilton & Hyland