SELL BUY PROPERTY

Earlier today Your Mama blathered and rattled on (and on) about the documentary film called The Queen of Versailles that documents the triumphs, travails and (still ongoing) efforts of time share tycoon David Siegel and his wife Jackie to complete construction on Versailles, the monstrous, 90,000 square foot faux-French palace-y pile they're building about 20 minutes outside downtown Orlando, FL.

Although they have floated and flitted their way across the interweb via various property gossip blogs and websites, the double-doozy floor plans first appeared on a still-active website set up to market the still-for-sale property, now listed (unfinished) with a $65,000,000 price tag.

We can't vouch for the authenticity or accuracy of the floor plans but as best as we can surmise these plans do indeed follow very closely to the basic shape and layout of the house as described and seen in photographs in current (and past) listings, press accounts of the property, and the aforementioned documentary film. And, remember, they do come from a website with contact information for the current listing agents. So they do appear to be pretty damn real.

Real and/or accurate or now, they are something to behold. We don't know what, exactly, but something.

floor plan renderings: LakeButlerMansion.com

...scuttlebutt on the real estate superhighway is that tetra-gajillionaire Larry Ellison has tasked a few of his '"people"' to inform a few of the more savvy Real Estates who work the streets of San Francisco's Marina District that the spendy Oracle founder might be willing to drop a yacht-load of money for a few well-located houses that are not currently on the market.

So the rumor goes on the San Fran-centric real estate blog SocketSite, the Real Estates were to provide Mister Ellison's so-called '"people"' with a few names of property owners who "might be willing to accept an offer they can't refuse."

Presumably his (alleged) desire to snatch up properties in the Marina District has something (or everything) to do with San Francisco being the host city for the finals of the America's Cup yacht racing extravaganza, due to storm waters and streets the city for two weeks next September (2013).

We don't know a manhole from a garden house but Your Mama can imagine the yachting aficionado—who already owns a very large and very contemporary mansion with sweeping (if a wee bit obstructed) view of the San Francisco Bay 10 or 12 blocks away in Pacific Heights—wants closer, more convenient access for himself and his VIP guests to the water front, some where along which the Oracle-sponsored racing fleet will be parked and plucked and waxed and/or whatever one does to keep a brutally expensive racing vessel looking like like fast-moving perfection on the water.

Mister Ellison could probably save himself umpteen millions and hassles by offering ludicrous sums of cash to rent their homes for the duration of the regatta (or whatever such yachting festivals are called). But this is a man whose personal property portfolio is easily valued at a quarter billion dollars or more considering the recent rumors he's agreed to pay upwards of half a billion dollars for the entire Hawaiian island of Lanai. Renting is not how this trophy property collecting tech-sector tycoon rolls.

Buckle your real estate safety belts, butter beans, because those busy beavers at Curbed snagged another mouth watering snippet of the recently released documentary The Queen of Versailles, a feature length film that chronicles the bizarro plight of recession-affected time share mogul David Siegel and his publicity lovin' wife Jackie to build the largest house in America. In Orlando. For reals.

The unfinished, palace-sized pad (shown finished in renderings, above) sits on 1,250 feet of everglade-y water front in an affluent, gated enclave on Lake Butler, spans somewhere around 90,000 square feet and was custom designed with a slew of such necessary features as 13 bedrooms and 21 full and 2 half bathrooms. Let's not forget the triple-height, hangar-sized grand ballroom with twin floating staircases (below); all ten kitchens and a sushi bar; four fireplaces; and a 10,000 square foot health spa with indoor swimming pool. And that's just the start...

When finished the still-unfinished house will be equipped with a two-lane bowling alley and arcade; an indoor roller rink that converts to an ice rink in the basement; two movie theaters—one for the kids one for the grown ups; a 4,000 square foot closet in the master bedroom; and a 20-car garage.

Naturally the planned interior architectural details and day-core, as seen in renderings included with marketing materials for the over-blown property (above), push and bully their way well beyond opulent and deep into the decoratively dangerous territory of gaudy and grotesque. But that isn't really a surprise, is it now? No, it's not.

The 10-plus acre grounds were designed with a piazza-like, half acre terrace off the back of the house that wraps around three sides of a resort-scaled, infinity edge swimming pool. Mister Siegal is in the resort bizness after all. Also planned also three grotto spas; two tennis courts—one, for some reason, with stadium seating; a private dock with (an also not finished) open-air boat house; and a full-sized baseball field designed to do double duty as a parking large for large parties and events.

The Siegels have had the bloated mega-mansion on the market since 2010 when it came up for sale unfinished with a $75,000,000 price tag or finished with all it's finey with a $100,000,000 asking price. It's now listed for $65,000,000 (uncompleted) and $90,000,000 (completed).

If the house doesn't sell, so Missus Siegel recently told the crew at The Today Show, with filmmaker Lauren Greenfield sitting right next to her, she and Mister Siegel, their 8 children and whatever live-in staff they maintain will move into the elephantine house.

The spectacular story of real estate schadenfreude gets even more preposterous, children. Are you ready for this? While Missus Siegel—sometimes alongside Miz Greenfield—goes around and chit-chats with The Media about the movie, the house and her family, Mister Siegel has done filed a lawsuit against the filmmaker (and others) for alleged defamation. He says the film doesn't tell the whole story, which is that his recession-hobbled time share operation is now on the mend and that he and the missus plan to continue and complete construction on their hyper-huge mansion, Versailles. They call it Versailles. Of course they call it Versailles.

Listen, chickens, these people can do whatever they want with whatever money they have. Fair or not, it's their money to do as they please. What puzzles and perplexes Your Mama is why someone would do this with all that money.  Mister Siegel himself said the exterior design of the house was "kind of copied" from top three floors of the Paris Las Vegas hotel and casino in Las Vegas. Seriously, he said that. Watch the clip.

Before any of you people get all hot under the collar and smart-mouthed with Your Mama and start hollerin' about how we're a socialist (or some shit) and ought to clam up our brazenly opinionated flap-trap, keep in mind Mister and Missus Siegel signed up for all the publicity and nonsense. They could have told all us crazy property gossips, "It's a very large home we intend to occupy as a family. We have no other comment. Thank you." Instead, they allowed a prominent filmmaker to follow them around for three years in order to make a movie about them and that house. Harsh as it may seem—and actually be—the Siegels invited whatever criticisms (and congratulations) they get as a result of their very public and unapologetically profligate real estate ways. We don't make the rules, but them is the rules of the modern day media world.

listing photos: Florida Ranch Lands

SELLERS: Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell
LOCATION: Pacific Palisades, CA
PRICE: $7,250,000
SIZE: .56 acres

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama heard from a little celebrity real estate birdie we'll call Larry Looselips that Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have quietly floated a vacant residential parcel in Pacific Palisades, CA on the market with an asking price of $7,250,000.

Truth be told, kittens, we were as flabbergasted as y'all. Your Mama didn't even know they owned a vacant piece of land in Pacific Palisades, a quiet, slightly staid and decidedly upscale coastal community situated between Santa Monica and Malibu. We knew they've lived in Pac Pal since the Ice Age, as does Miz Hawn's famous daughter Kate Hudson, but not a damn thing about this vacant property. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Forty seven seconds of research in to the property records, however, revealed it was only back in January 2011 when Mister Russell and Miz Hawn acquired the .56 acre spread on the elevated and coveted Palisades Riviera Rim for $5,700,000.

At the time of their purchase, according to old listing information we coaxed up out of the internets, the all-but-pancake-flat property had a musty- and fusty-looking 3,088 square foot residence originally built in the 1950s with 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms and a backyard swimming pool. While the house was no great shakes, the far end of the backyard drops off to a panoramic eastern view over the rustic (but posh) Mandeville Canyon 'hood, past The Getty, beyond the gleaming towers of Century City and—on a clear day—all the way to the sometimes snow-capped Mt. Baldy.

The existing house was razed, the land graded and a prominent architect hired to design a big new house. Current listing information shows there are active plans and permits in place for a Steve Giannetti-designed mini-compound with 6 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, an exercise room, separate media room, and eat-in kitchen. Deep verandas designed along the back of the house have long city and sky views unimpeded except by a new swimming pool, spa and adjacent pavilion/studio.

We really don't know if the unmarried pair actually imagined they would occupy the premises or if the purchase and subsequent sale was always planned as a money-making business venture but a few, quick clicks and clacks of the beads on Your  Mama's bejeweled abacus shows the current price is $1,550,000 more than the Russell-Hawns. paid for the place just over 1.5 years ago.

Surely a small fortune was spent on cleaning and preparing the land and we'd bet both our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly the services of Mister Giannetti probably cost them more then Your Mama earns in two years. Even still, if the real estate gods favor their plight and someone comes along and pays close to the asking price the Hawn-Russells could probably pull down close to a million bucks for the buying and selling efforts. Not bad work if you can get it, right?

Miz Hawn and Mister Russell may not enjoy the white hot Showbiz careers they once did but make no mistake, muffin tops, these two are straight up Tinseltown aristocrats who maintain an extensive (and expensive) property portfolio to prove it. In addition to the on-sale parcel and their current Pac Pal residence, snatched up in August 2004 for $4,124,591, the couple owns an ocean front house on Malibu's Broad Beach they've been trying to sell and/or lease on and off for years. Their beach house in the Bu is currently listed with an asking price of $11,200,000, recently and dramatically reduced from $14,749,000.

The couple also have a sprawling desert compound in a swank, gated enclave in Palm Desert, CA they picked up in July 2003 for $3,615,000; an even larger, multi-residence compound outside Snowmass, CO, some (or all) of which was purchased in the mid-1980s; a Midtown Manhattan penthouse apartment owned since the late 1990s and bought for an undisclosed amount of dough; and a secluded lake front spread north of Toronto, Canada, on Lake Rosseau.

listing photo: Coldwell Banker / Malibu

BUYER: Rosie O'Donnell
LOCATION: New York City, NY
PRICE: around $8,000,000
SIZE: 3,202 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The New York Post reported today that acerbic and sometimes polarizing comedienne and former chat show host Rosie O'Donnell has "plunked down about $8 million for a four-bedroom apartment with outdoor space" in a converted hospital building many New Yorkers probably remember as part of the now-shuttered St. Vincent's Catholic Medical Center complex on (and around) West 12th Street in Greenwich Village.

A quick perusal of listings on StreetEasy reveals the only 4 bedroom apartment with outdoor space in the eight million dollar range in that particular building is a duplex penthouse with 3,202 square feet, 3 bathrooms, 3 exposures, and a private, 435 square foot terrace.

The open plan main living space has a long wall of windows and French doors to access the city-view terrace and a butler's pantry hall that connects the dining area with an almost all-white and expensively equipped center-island kitchen.

The building topper's floor plan included with current marketing materials shows one bedroom/study downstairs (with access to a windowless guest/hall bathroom), two more guest/family bedrooms situated on either side of another windowless hall bathroom upstairs, and an expansive master suite complete with sitting area, double-windowed walk-in closet and spacious and also double-windowed bathroom outfitted with two sinks, stall shower and separate tub.

While we recognize it's truly a luxury to have private washer and dryer hook ups in even the most expensive of New York City apartments, the location of the stacked equipment in a closet at the top of the stairs of this $8 million duplex penthouse is not ideal.

The newly converted pre-war structure was re-worked by a big-time New York City real estate family—they would be the Rudins—with numerous state-of-the-art, green-minded notions meant to qualify the building for LEED certification.

The old public hospital now provides residents with luxury amenities that include full-time doormen, a resident superintendent, Jed Johnson-designed common areas, a fitness center, cold storage (for ice cream, flower and milk deliveries), a rooftop terrace, an emergency power system for black outs and other such events, a building-wide wi-fi and water-filtering system, and energy-efficient heating and cooling equipment. For all of that common charges are shown on listing information we peeped at $3,234 per month with an additional $3,824 per month in taxes. A few quick flicks of the well-worn beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows the penthouse will cost Miz O'D $84,696 per year not counting mortgage payments, alterations and/or improvements, and utility bills.

Miz O'D has been much in the celebrity real estate news lately due to her purchase and quick sale of a the Chicago townhouse where she shacked up during her short-lived talk show on Oprah's eponymous and flailing network (OWN). Miz O'D's property portfolio currently includes (but may not be limited to) a nearly 1,400 square foot condo crib on a middle floor of a 43-story residential tower in Hell's Kitchen bought in October 2008 for $2,005,000, a substantial, multi-residence river-front compound in Nyack, NY, and and 11 bedroom and 12.5 bathroom bay-front estate on Miami's star-stocked Star Island, currently up for sale with a $19,500,000 asking price.

Note to the children: The exterior photo is a rendering and the kitchen photo may or may not be an accurate representation of the kitchen in the penthouse Miz O'D is reportedly (and at this point, allegedly) acquiring.

photo and floor plan: Stribling via 130west12.com

SELLER: Nicky Hilton
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,950,000
SIZE: 4,072 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Hotel heiress, handbag designer and Tinseltown gal about town Nicky Hilton has hoisted her Los Angeles, CA residence on the open market with an asking price of $2,950,000.

Property records (and various reports from the time) indicate Miss Hilton, now pushing 30, bought the large but fairly unassuming 2-story residence just over five years ago, in June 2007, for $2,800,000 and current listing information shows Miss Hilton's house, set a bit above the street with a semi-circular driveway on a long cul-de-sac just above the western tail of the famed Sunset Strip, was built in 1942 on a .35 acre parcel, measures 4,072 square feet and contains total of 3 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms.

Like her older sister, Paris, Nicky engaged the services of Hilton family friend, lady-decorator and Tinseltown gal about town Faye Resnick, former b.f.f. of Nicole Brown Simpson who once appeared in her birthday suit in Playboy (1995), occasionally appears on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and did up (some but not all) of Miss Hilton's home in a very tightly restrained (and kinda cliché) glamorpuss-a-thon black and white palette with lots (and lots) of chrome, mirrored and white lacquer accents.

Wide brick steps climb up from the driveway to a spacious entrance hall with gleaming, milk-chocolate-colored hardwood floors. To one side of the foyer, the white-walled formal living room has glossy black moldings; a wide window that overlooks the front yard; French doors that open to the backyard; and a sexy fireplace—or "sexy" fireplace depending on your point of view—flanked by a pair chrome and glass bar carts and a pair of kitchy white ceramic dogs that we're not 100% sure where meant to be kitchy.

One one side of the fireplace Miss Hilton has hung an iconic 1955 photograph by Slim Aarons of stylish (and deceased) East Coast socialite and writer C.Z. Guest standing poolside with her son (and a couple of dogs) in front of the wacky Grecian temple at Villa Artemis, her ocean front estate in Palm Beach, FL. On the other there hangs what could be—but may or may not actually be—a Bert Stern-snapped portrait of Marilyn Monroe.

On the other side of the foyer from the formal living room Miz Resnick papered at least one wall in the formal dining room with an appetite-suppressing, Rorschach-ian black and white pattern that was mirrored in the white applique design on the front of a black lacquer cabinet opposite the front door. Did y'all catch that decorative slight of hand, too?

An old-school swinging door in the dining room connects through to the sizable, center island kitchen finished with herringbone-pattern wood floors that look in listing photos to be a reddish-caramel-color and that Your Mama hopes and prays are actually the same milk-chocolate color as in the rest of the house; white, hardware-free cabinetry, some with glass fronts; black, possibly granite, counter tops; black and stainless steel commercial-style appliances including 4 ovens and 2 built-in fridges; a roomy pantry; an upsetting, sage green painted ceiling and an even more distressing industrial-looking pot rack hung over the center island with only a handful of pots and pans.

The walls of the adjacent breakfast room are papered in the same distinctive, Don Loper-designed Martinique banana leaf pattern as is installed on the walls of the fab Fountain Coffee Shop downstairs at the perennially-iconic and impossibly-chic Beverly Hills Hotel, a hotel, incidentally, Miss Hilton's family neither owns nor ever owned.

Additional rooms and amenities, according to current listing information, include a family room/den with fireplace that does not look like it's been given a once over by Miz Resnick or anybody else for that matter; a gym and sauna; interior laundry facilities; and a master suite described in current listing information as "Dramatic" with 2 huge closets and 2 bathrooms, at least one of which has multiple mirrored walls, double sinks set into some sort of burnt orange colored counter top material, and an oval soaking tub.

Many rooms off the back of the house open to a narrow, tree-shaded backyard nestled into a steep slope with meandering, multi-level Mexican paver tile terracing, lagoon-style swimming pool, spa, waterfall and outdoor fireplace.

Current listing information also lets it be known Miss Hilton would is also willing to lease the property at a rate of $15,000 per month.

listing photos: Hilton & Hyland

SELLER: Agyness Deyn
LOCATION: Brooklyn, NY (Williamsburg)
PRICE: $2,175,000
SIZE: 2,911 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen chickens, it's a bit slow in the celebrity real estate world so, although the matter has already been previously discussed by plenty of other property gossips, we're going to tumble back in time to February (2012) when androgyne supermodel Agyness Deyn—the surprise new missus of actor Giovanni Ribisi, dontcha know—sold her decoratively downright batty but still thrilling and bewitching Brooklyn, NY loft for $2,175,000.

Why talk about it now, after all this time? Well, because we're both vexed and mesmerized by the memorable and unapologetically outlandish day-core.

The two unit combination crib, on the third floor of the so-called Mill Building in the heart of the Brooklyn's ur-hipster community of Williamsburg, was purchased, so the property records show, just a few days before Halloween in 2008 in two separate but equal transactions of $965,000 for a total spent of $1,930,000.

At that time chameleon-like model was in her mid-20s and at her professional pinnacle as part of a new wave of leggy manikins who emerged in the early- and mid-Aughts. In addition appearing in the pages and on the covers of scads of fashion rags from around the world, she's lucratively appeared in countless advertising campaigns for the likes of Blumarine, Burberry, Doc Martens, Vivienne Westwood, Giorgio Armani, Paul Smith and Uniqlo, to name just a few.

The still-busy model, now nearly 30, also dabbles in music—she was in a band called Lucky Knitwear; acting—she appeared in the sci-fi flick Clash of the Titans in 2010 and to positive reviews in The Leisure Society on London's West End in 2012; and design—she designed a line of jewelry with b.f.f. clothing designer Henry Hollandshe and she and her baby sister produced a line of graphic t-shirts sold at Uniqlo.

Listing information from late 2011,when she first hoisted the loft on the market with an asking price of $2,500,000, show Miss Deyn's old digs in Billyburg span a spacious 2,911 square feet with 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. The L-shaped main living/dining space stretches a sensational 60-feet; the kitchen is expensively and well-equipped but oddly configured with the fridge is in an adjacent laundry room; and an Asian-infused mediation nook is accessed through a wacky circular cut out in a fully-mirrored wall (above).
 
Thin-strip hardwood floors that may or may not be original to the building run at a 45-degree angle throughout (most of) the quintessentially lofty loft blessed with voluptuous 13-foot ceilings, exposed iron columns and ceiling architecture, and 10 windows that drop dramatically almost to the floor and extend almost to the ceiling.

The 7-story former factory building requires 25% down payments and offers residents 24-7 door opening assistance plus a live-in super, video intercom entry systems, access to extra storage areas, on-site underground parking facilities, and a furnished roof deck with over the roof top views of Brooklyn and Manhattan. For all that (and whatever other services are provided by the building) the common charges for Aggy's loft run, as per listing information, $1,498 per month.

If you're a little tipsy, prone to dizzy spells and/or otherwise unable to stomach decidedly raucous but painstakingly curated decorative chaos we suggest you move quickly past the listing pictures because you will most certainly be disturbed by this fearlessly flamboyant feast of home habiliment eccentricity. It looks like the sort place Miss Havisham or Auntie Mame might live iffin she were a globe-circling and well-to-do supermodel-musician-actress or, maybe, a portly queen in a kimono who pads around and hums atonal arias

Although hardly decorative minimalists, neither Your Mama nor The Dr. Cooter could ever ever in a million years live amid this onslaught of frippery and finery. Do you see those utterly lurid ceramic flower-stool-things (above, right)? Those alone would surely drive Sober Sally to the liquor cabinet. And if those didn't the home-spun quilt laid over the quilted ottoman surely would.

None-the-less and despite what at first glance appears to be a hot mess of epic proportions—and arguably it is—Your Mama would happily spend hours and hours in boozy haze flopped around in the surprisingly cozy-looking main living and dining areas where a vast leopard print rug was brazenly coupled with raw burlap curtains and room dividers, where velvet brocade settees, ephemera-filled bell jars, and a wack-a-doodle donut-shaped dining table topped with mirrored obelisks and various other seemingly random objet are reflected like boho-Victorian flea market confetti in multiple mirrored walls.

The kitchen isn't the most practical-looking space, just a single strip of counter that can be can be hidden behind painted folding doors of the closet variety. But that's of little consequence, perhaps, since most catwalkers look like they don't eat more than a bit of crudité every couple of days and, of course, many New Yorkers eat out or order in every meal. Back in our New York days of yore Your Mama knew numerous storage-strapped folks who used their ovens not to cook but to stash shoes, sweaters and other odds and ends. Even still Miss Deyn's kitchen was expensively outfitted with top grade accoutrement like a custom-crafted stone sink and a baby blue range identified in marketing materials as a Lacanache but looks to Your Mama more like an equally artisinal and pricey CornueFé 110 in Provence blue (with satin chrome and polished copper trim) from La Cornue. That particular imported cooker, for anyone who might be curious, retails in the U.S. for around $8,600.

The smaller of the two bedrooms (above), a windowless space accessible, according to the floor plan, only by passing through the hall bathroom, has a quartet of corner cupboard storage cabinets and closets, patchwork-style marble and onyx tile floors and a wood bed of the likes we've never seen before set smack in the center of the room. It's fantastic to look at—so crazy—but we can't imagine ever having a proper night's sleep in there. Beyond the indignity of having to pass through the pooper to get to the bedroom, just imagine rolling over in the deep sleep of an early morning to catch a gauzy, booze-goggle glimpse of that bust next to the bed sitting there watching you sleep. Your Mama is quite certain that, with enough gin and exhaustion, we'd most certainly mistake that thing for an intruder, pull the pearl-handled pistol from beneath our pillow and shoot that damn thing until it was dead.

There are two doors between the main living space and the master bedroom, all done up in an under the ocean fantasia that looks a bit like how we imagine a modern-day Marie Antoinette might do up a beach house in the Hamptons. The walls and ceiling are covered in a Tiffany blue color with hand painted, over-sized and multi-color coral shapes; a light fixture fashioned from giant scallop shells hangs from the ceiling; black and white linens that depict a swarm of sea fan and sea anemones (or something) cover the bed; and a couple of histrionic, carved wood furniture pieces with shell motifs are set in front of the windows. The marble columns on either side of the settee might be overkill, but that sort of appears to be the point, right?

A fully-mirrored dressing room—a fun house-like chamber sure drive anyone with even an iota of negative body image issues into cataclysmic spasms of self loathing—was fitted with an unusual light fixture in the shape of a vintage hot air balloon. The children will note the shape echoes the silhouetted hot air balloons on the window shades in the main living spaces. Believe it or not, hunties, is a nice-gay or lady decorator hard at work.

It may look like chaos but there are, if you bother to look, decorative through lines that really do give the room the kind of rigor required of a well-done day-core. It may not be to your taste but that does not, children, mean it's not correct. We're sure we'll take a verbal bullet or two for saying that—and fair enough—but we'd much rather look at Miss Deyn's high camp flea market extravaganza than something safe, stodgy and country-club approved. But who cares what we think...

The ego-abusing dressing room connects the master bedroom to the melodramatic bathroom lined with a mixy-matchy cacophony of mirrors and a variety of marble and onyx tiles from around the world. The floor plan included with listing information from the time of the sale indicates there are two sinks, a semi-private crapper cubby, separate steam shower and a free-standing soaking tub carved from a solid piece of onyx and filled via a campy lion medallion mounted to the wall behind it. Does anyone else besides Your Mama find it both disturbing and amusing the tub looks like it was carved from a giant chub of fat-marbled bacon?

We thought the day-core had a certain Roman and Williams quality about it but one of the children tells us Miss Deyn's day-core was actually done (and done and done) by a fella named Ricky Clifton, a somewhat elusive figure with a courageously madcap sense of design who has worked over (or helped work over) the downtown Manhattan homes of art world luminaries like Stella Schnabel and John Currin and Rachel Feinstein.

Natch, we don't know a garden hose from a tractor trailer so we really can't say if Aggy's decision to sell her Brooklyn loft did (or did not) have anything to do with her recent City Hall wedding to L.A.-based actor Giovanni Ribisi who—celeb property watchers will recall—recently put the Los Angeles, CA home he shared with former lady-mate Chan Marshall—a.k.a. the musician Cat Power—on the open market for $989,000. The property is already in escrow and Mister Ribisi has already procured his next home, a gated mini compound with a 3,886 square foot private residence and art studio in the somewhat unlikely Atwater Village area of Los Angeles for which he shelled out $1,405,000.

listing photos and floor plan: Prudential Douglas Elliman