SELL BUY PROPERTY

In early January (2013) the celebrity press corps reported that professional basketball supernova Carmelo "Melo" Anthony and his—ahem—whimsically named wife La La had done split up and were living on separate coasts. Rumors and reports of their split—denied by the couple—surfaced on the heels of an off-court altercation between the extraordinarily well compensated 6-foot-8 New York Knickerbocker forward* and some dude on the Boston Celtics who naughtily snarked that La La "tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios." Maybe that's not a very nice thing to say to a man about his lady—and it can definitely be construed as a not very nice thing to say about a lady—but there are certainly far less flattering things that Celtic could have said La La tastes like, right?

Anyhoo, we don't know if Melo and La La did or did not actually split up or take some sort of marital break but the newest reports from the celebrity property gossips at the New York Post reveal that the allegedly rekindled and maybe even always kindled couple have signed a $29,000 per month lease for a 4,022 square foot high-floor apartment in a completely renovated pre-war building on upper Fifth Avenue. And, children, we mean upper Fifth Avenue.

Twenty nine grand is a stunning sum of money to drop every month on rent by any reasonable standard but the building is so far up Fifth Avenue—it's at 102nd Street—that Your Mama is quite certain at least of few of our sassy resident estate snobs will clutch their pearls, narrow their eyes and straight up call it Harlem regardless of how much money Melo and La La are laying down every month in rent for the five bedroom and 4.5 bathroom spread.

Anyhoo, the park view apartment has, according to the floor plan included with marketing materials, a combination living/dining room, an adjoining library/music room, a separate den/media room and a decent sized but hardly huge kitchen tucked back behind an L-shaped service corridor with laundry, powder pooper, coat closet, pantry and an en suite bedroom suitable for a live in domestic. Most of the three other guest/family/staff bedrooms are pretty puny—one is just eight feet wide, another less than 10 feet wide—but, in addition to a good-sized bedroom, the circuitously accessed master suite has a separate sitting room, three walk-in closets and a hotel-style bathroom with two sink vanity and separate tub and shower set up.

Oddly and perhaps ironically enough, in 2011 there was talk in the media that Mister and Missus Anthony were not interested in spending thirty grand a month for a New York City rental apartment no matter how nice and were on the hunt for a house in some of New Jersey's more affluent areas. Well, Your Mama doesn't know a thing about the veracity of that but we do know that three years later—that would be now—they are (allegedly) dropping just about thirty big ones a month for an apartment in Manhattan. A bit more than two years ago, in December 2010, the couple unloaded a fully landscaped 5.74 acre compound in Littleton, CO compound for $6,180,000, nearly six million less than the $12 million they paid for the place four years earlier. Listing details still accessible online shows the 21,083 square foot main mansion (above) has 8 bedrooms, 7 fireplace, 15 terlits, a home theater and—natch—a gym. Ancillary structures include a guest house, sound studio, three stall barn (with fenced pasture and pond).

*According to the Hoops Hype website Mister Anthony is all set to rake in $21,490,000 for the 2013/14 season, not counting any endorsements, bonuses or other income he may have. His salary will fatten by more than two million dollars for the 1014/15 season.

listing photos and floor plan (New York City): Core via Street Easy
listing photo (Littleton): The Kentwood Company